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Thursday, July 4, 2019

Chapters of My Life: A Few More Days

(July 3rd, 2019 Part One) 

     I catch myself day dreaming quite a bit. Dreaming about different situations; conversations; and how an upcoming event could go. The problem is, nothing turns out the way I thought it would. It gets very frustrating. But then there is a Bible verse that comes to mind, to help me overcome my disappointed hopes.
 
     Hope deferred makes the heart sick,
 but a desire fulfilled is a tree of life.

Photo Credit: Pinterest 
    I have a desire, a dream, a goal if you will. I know what I want and I am going to pursue Him every step of the way. Whatever it takes. The other problem is, I get ahead of myself. I see the goal, I see the prize and I do everything I can to get there. I push and I keep pushing at the door. Every time I start playing out scenario's in my head, I get my hopes up. I think I am finally closer to getting what I want, then, bam...door slams shut, and my heart is sickened with deferred hopes.
 
Oh wretched woman that I am! What shall I do? I shall rest, and sit, and wait. What really is there that I can do? Jesus reminds us that we can't even add one inch to our height. Only God Can. Why do we think if we "say this" or "do that" then things will turn out our way? Why do I think this?
    All I can do is put my hope in Him. He is the only sure thing. All I can do is put my trust in His promises to me. If He tells me to wait, or its not time, then I am to obey. That is all that is required of me. Jesus said, "Keep My Commandments", meaning whatever He tells you do do, you do it. It really is that simple.
    The problem is I don't understand why things aren't going like I thought they would; or they don't turn out like I thought they would. I think I have it all figured out, then God shows up and says, nope- this is how I willed it to go. Then my hopes are discouraged, but not at God, He did nothing wrong. I took it upon myself to think I knew better and not obey His Word to me in Isaiah.
   
For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
    neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord.
 For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
    so are my ways higher than your ways
    and my thoughts than your thoughts.

 “For as the rain and the snow come down from heaven
    and do not return there but water the earth,
making it bring forth and sprout,
    giving seed to the sower and bread to the eater,
 so shall my word be that goes out from my mouth;
    it shall not return to me empty,
but it shall accomplish that which I purpose,
    and shall succeed in the thing for which I sent it.
Isaiah 55:8-11

     No matter how hard I try, I will never be able to understand the reasons why life never turns out the way I had expected. The point is- I don't need to know. I am only commanded to trust and obey. Trust that He, the Existing One, has already laid out the path that He has prepared for me. (Ephesians 2:10) Listen, trust and obey. Stop trying to be god of your own life.
     The only way I can have freedom from stress, and disappointment. is in knowing His Word, trusting His Word, and standing upon it; no matter what anyone says or what is happening around me. Keep my eyes on Him. That is stress free living. 
     Every word He speaks to your life will return to Him and bear fruit. He knows what events, circumstances, storms, struggles and victories you are going to face. Trust Him that He has spoken His will over your life and no one can snatch you out of His Hand. (John 10:29)  You are chosen, now it is time to act like it. 
     He knows your secrets even before you do. His Spirit is constantly making intercession for us. He knows exactly what you need and when you need it. Sometimes its another mountain, sometimes its the same mountain- the point is, we cannot grow if we do not let go and learn. Listen, trust and obey. It really is that simple. 
      With God all things are possible. Amen? 

(July 4th, 2019 Part Two) 

     I don't know what I am doing. I think I am doing the right thing, but honestly, I haven't a clue! I  am completely blind here! I am pretty certain all my choices, all my motives, are tainted with sin and self. To be totally transparent, and to stop pretending like I'm holy, I am gonna get serious.      Everything we do is derived from sin. There is always an intent, a motive for self buried underneath everything we do. That is why He says that all our righteousness is as filthy rags. (Isaiah 64:6)  All- every thing we do, think and say is tainted with sin. Unfortunately, there is nothing we can do about it- it's our nature. 
     Nature cannot change it's nature. No matter how domesticated you make a wolf, it still has a nature and it cannot change that. Neither can we. We are who we are. Praise God for Jesus Christ my Lord who took upon sinful flesh; my sinful nature and overcame it- nailing it to the cross. Because of Him we too can overcome this filthy flesh. 
     
"Truly, I say to you, whoever says to this mountain,
 ‘Be taken up and thrown into the sea,’
 and does not doubt in his heart,
but believes that what he says will come to pass,
it will be done for him."

     I have had a lot of experiences in my life. A lot of sin, a lot of sorrow and a lot of loss. I have done many things and been many things. I was married for 23 years. But for almost 17 of them, we lived apart; separate bedrooms, separate lives. We had sort of a friendship, but it was marred by 23 years of hurt, pain and deferred hopes. There were times where I would crave intimacy. My eyes and heart would start to wander. But I would cry out for my Lord and ask Him to give me strength and He would. Every. Single. Time. (Yes, I stayed faithful all those years. It can be done.) So yes, my single sisters, it is possible to stay chaste, nor seek for love in all the wrong places. You can overcome the desires of your flesh. 
    The problem is, however, no matter how strong or how "faith" full we are; never let your guard down. The enemy is always lurking about like a lion seeking whom he may destroy. Never be so sure that you fall. With God all things are possible, but if you choose to sin, He won't stop you. Sooner or later, you will learn. Hopefully sooner rather than later- the times are running short. The end is near my friends. Don't think they aren't. God is calling His people back. Get your lamps ready, fill up the oil and trim your wicks. The Bridegroom is near. 
     The truth that I want to express to you today is this- you have absolutely no control over anything. All you can do is listen to His Word, Keep His Commandments, and Trust Him for His very best. That's it. If you are not willing to do that. He will wipe the dust off His feet and walk away. Now is not the time to be stubborn. 
     We have made our lives hard. No one else is to blame but ourselves. We make excuses, blame other people, blame God, and find ways to stay in the comfortable stench of our sins. Jesus rebukes the scribes and pharisees in Matthew 23, and I think we all should take a moment to search our hearts and get real before Him.

  "Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you clean the outside of the cup and the plate, but inside they are full of greed and self-indulgence." (Matthew 23:25 ESV) 

     I am out of excuses. I am out of time. I know what He has promised me. I know it won't be easy. But I know I want Him, I know I want what is promised to me. Now it's up to me to put the work of Faith in. Now it's up to me to put my armor on and fight this fight of faith. If not, then I might as well just walk away now.

     Is what you are doing (that sin that God has clearly told you to stop doing) so important that you would risk dying an eternal death for it? What is it that you refuse to obey God in that is holding you captive and keeping you from the promises that He has promised you?
   
"Now great crowds accompanied him, and he turned and said to them,  “If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple.  Whoever does not bear his own cross and come after me cannot be my disciple.  For which of you, desiring to build a tower, does not first sit down and count the cost, whether he has enough to complete it? Otherwise, when he has laid a foundation and is not able to finish, all who see it begin to mock him,  saying, ‘This man began to build and was not able to finish.’ Or what king, going out to encounter another king in war, will not sit down first and deliberate whether he is able with ten thousand to meet him who comes against him with twenty thousand?  And if not, while the other is yet a great way off, he sends a delegation and asks for terms of peace.  So therefore, any one of you who does not renounce all that he has cannot be my disciple."

     I have to say, when I read the above scripture, I see the church in America today. There are great crowds that accompany Him to church every Sunday. But the word accompany carries a meaning of just along for the ride, not completely committed to going the whole way. When it comes time to count the cost, or the road gets hard, you will fall away. You will turn back to the way you came. 
     Jesus teaches us that if we truly want to be His disciple, if we truly want to glorify Him and have a peace filled eternity as He promised, then we need to count the cost and make a decision. Why would you start building a tower without first knowing the amount of time, money and resources it will take? Why have a goal, but no plan?
     What I see happening is that we start building a relationship with Jesus because we feel guilty (emotional feeling) when some preacher keeps repeating over and over again that someone in the room needs to come forward and confess Jesus. Since you are having an emotional feeling, then it must be real, so you walk down the isle to accompany Jesus for a little while, but you never change. You did not count the cost, you are not willing to be His disciple if it means you have to stop living the way you are. You responded to an altar call that made you feel worldly sorrow- not godly sorrow that led you to repentance. It's why your prayers have no power, your life has no purpose and you can't get over this feeling you are missing something. (You are- you are missing Him) 
     We are like the Corinthians Paul addresses in 2 Corinthians 7:9-10, "not because you were grieved, but because you were grieved into repenting. For you felt a godly grief, so that you suffered no loss through us. For godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret, whereas worldly grief produces death." 
     Clark Gable said to Scarlett O'Hara right after she lost her second husband (which she married because she needed to pay the taxes on Tara) that she was "like the thief who was sorry he got caught, just not sorry he stole." We have made God, the Almighty Father of Heaven and Earth into an emotionally weak minded god who just wants everyone to drink His kool-aid of saying a prayer and you are saved. No need to follow His word, just go to church, serve, attend bible studies and keep gossiping in your prayer groups, lusting after Hollywood stars on TV, and all the other sins we are unwilling to give up because we are not willing to count the cost. It sickens my stomach to see so many men and women choosing to "accompany" Him but not truly walk with Him. I am to the point where I want to say I am a woman of faith, instead of classifying myself with the Christianity of today in my nation. If that offends you- well, that's on you. Truth is truth, whether it offends you or not. 

      Otherwise, when he has laid a foundation and is not able to finish, all who see it begin to mock him,  saying, ‘This man began to build and was not able to finish.’ (Luke 14:29-30) 

  That is what happens to us when we choose not to count the cost. We not only hurt ourselves, grieve His Spirit, but we make the name of Christ a mockery. I mean, seriously, look at the church today- we started out well, but let's face it, modern day Christianity does not have what it takes to finish, it is why the world laughs at us. It is why the church no longer has a voice. We made a mockery of it by making everyone think we could just say a little prayer and go about living our lives as we want. Just a little nicer now. 
Photo Credit: Pinterest 
     We go along with Him up until the road gets hard. Then we say, "It was great knowing you Jesus, but this isn't really working out for me." It is why Church attendance goes up and down so much. Truth be told, you may have said a prayer, but you never intended to walk with Him, if you did, you would have been listening to Him and counting the cost along the way. If you are struggling in your faith, finding yourself missing something but not sure what it is- I hope I can encourage you to go and find Him. Do whatever it takes to get before Him, alone, and just pour it out. He will show you where you are and where He wants to take you. Listen, trust and obey. There is hope yet. It's not about saying a prayer, it's about choosing to live a life that is different from everyone you know. It's about living a life of faith, keeping His commandments along the way. 
    We are to "come after" Him. Meaning, we are to follow His footsteps. Watch Him. Study Him. Follow Him. That is how we overcome the flesh. We renounce all that we have, because we have counted the cost, and we know that nothing else in this world, or on this earth is worth risking our eternal destiny for. We renounce everything He has said cannot be a part of our lives anymore- even if this means you will be single for the rest of your life. He will remove every hindrance from our paths. He promises this to us throughout the Bible, when He says that He will make our crooked ways, straight. We have to be willing to do more than just accompany Him. We must be willing to follow in His footsteps. We have to be willing to let go- no matter the cost. That is how we overcome this flesh. Amen? 

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