Chapters of My Life: He Turns Ashes into Hinds Feet

   
    I started reading an old favorite of mine the other day titled, "Hinds Feet on High Places", by Hannah Hurnard.   (Click Here For Book Info)  I used to read this book about once a year, but for some reason I stopped. It is an allegory about "Much-Afraid" who steps out in faith to follow her Shepherd to the High Places.

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     This journey I am on reminds me much of the book I am reading. Much- Afraid had not had life easy. She found herself, quite frequently, being pushed around, manipulated by people who said they "loved" her and given an ultimatum- marry "Craven Fear" or else. She didn't want to be married, or marry. She wanted to be free- free to run to the High Places and be with her True Love, her Shepherd, her King. However, too many times she would be cast into doubt and fear, fearful of the future and doubtful that her Shepherd would want anything to do with her. She was crippled, and she was Much-Afraid.
     One night, out of desperation, she runs to the place where she would meet with her Shepherd. They met there in the mornings and the evenings. They would talk, and spend time together. It was her safe place, the place she longed to be. On this night, however, she poured her heart out to her Shepherd and asked Him to take her to the High Places. She knew she was not worthy enough to go, but she also had this deep desire to be nowhere else than with Him- in the High Places, where He lived. The one place she knew she could be free.

"to grant to those who mourn in Zion—

    to give them a beautiful headdress instead of ashes,

the oil of gladness instead of mourning,

    the garment of praise instead of a faint spirit;

that they may be called oaks of righteousness,

    the planting of the Lord, that he may be glorified."

Isaiah 61:3 

     Last night as I was reading, I was reminded of God's promise in His word to make beauty for ashes. My past is gone, it is ashes; there is nothing left for me there- it is time to move forward, it is time to leave the ash heap and embrace the beauty that God has prepared for me.
     When I look back on all the past years, I realize that it has all become ashes. When I walked away from my past a little over a month ago, I only took what would fit in my car. I had very few possessions, and to be honest, there was very little left that I actually wanted. Last night, I was hurt by some words I read in regards to my my possessions I had left,  so I went to the place where I meet with my Shepherd and poured out my heart to Him. I told Him of the hurt, and asked Him to help me understand all that was happening. He reminded me of His Promise- "beauty for ashes" He said, "Stephane- beauty for ashes."
     Like Much- Afraid did that night she met her Shepherd, I too chose to let go of all the past mistakes, the past hurts and the disappointed hopes of empty promises. I laid them down in the ash heap last night, and I woke up with a new hope of a beautiful future. Much-Afraid could not start her journey to the High Places loaded down with baggage. She had to walk away from all that she thought she wanted, all that she thought she needed and all that was important to her; and step out in faith, following the Shepherd leading the way.
     What I learned last night is that nothing on this earth is so precious, so valuable, or so sentimental that it is worth disrupting the peace you have with your Shepherd. What the Lord showed me was my value, my worth; they were not in these possessions and items that have been in my family for years. That which I seek is only found in Him. If that means possessions and items that once meant something to me are now in the ash heap- so be it. That is where they are meant to be. The Lord my God will restore all that is gone, all that was taken from me, and replace it with a glorious beauty that no man can every take from me.
   

"But whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ.  Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ" Philippians 3:7-8

 

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   Paul encourages me to hold onto the promises of God in Isaiah 61:3 with his life and his words as an example. There is nothing in life so valuable, so sentimental that you neglect the peace of God within you for them. No one, and nothing can replace the hope found in the promises of our God. And in the end, that IS enough for me. I may never see these possessions again, they may truly be in ashes, but what things were gain to me, those things I can now count as loss, because this woman- this woman is getting Hinds Feet.

     I seek the High Places, I seek my Shepherd, my Lord and my King. I have been like Much-Afraid, allowing people to push me around, to be spiteful towards me, allowing them to hurt me and cause me to have disrupted peace with my Lord. But no more. Because the lesson I am learning, is that I don't have to be like Much-Afraid anymore; because I have a Good Shepherd who loves me, who is giving me those Hinds Feet. He is taking the ashes of my past and transforming them into the feet I need to reach the Place He has Prepared for me- in the High Places, where He lives. 

     He is taking all the ashes of my  past and is weaving me a beautiful headdress. He is washing my tears of hurt and pain with the oil of gladness. He is replacing my fearful, doubting, worrying heart with a garment of praise. What can man do to me? "Nothing"- my Lord reminds me- nothing because He has given me Hinds Feet. And that, that is enough for me. Amen 

"He maketh my feet like hinds' feet, and setteth me upon my high places." Psalm 18:33