Chapters of My Life: Be Content

     If it does not feel right, it isn't right. Yesterday, I found myself without peace again. I was sitting, waiting for my new job to start, and I felt an unsettled. I felt no peace. Something wasn't right. It was almost like a sick to my stomach feeling. I knew something was off, but I was not sure what it was. The night before I did not sleep at all. I tossed and turned upon my bed, not feeling any peace. But I was trying to stay focused; focused on what I thought was the right steps for me to take. I thought I was walking in the right direction, but something was not right- I had no peace.
     I am learning, the hard way, that when I don't have peace about something, then I shouldn't do it; I should walk away, no matter the cost, no matter what. Unfortunately, as I sat there, I struggled with the fact that I had given my word, I had made a commitment. I thought I was doing the right thing. I was wrong. When there is no peace, God is telling you to walk away- this is not His will for you- this is not His best for you. Listen, my friend, listen and walk away.
   

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I haven't always listened to His guidance. In fact, a year ago, I found myself in a similar situation. I was praying for His guidance, I was unsettled and had no peace. But I did not listen to Him. Instead I ignored the unsettled feelings in my spirit and kept walking in the direction that I  wanted- that my flesh wanted. I ended up losing a very good job, my car and any hope of living a life worthy of His grace. I found myself in a bad place. I struggled to find peace. 
     We all make mistakes. And through these mistakes, people get hurt- we get hurt. Our witness can become damaged and we can find ourselves lost, fearful and full of doubt. All because we did not listen. As Christians we have the Holy Spirit living on the inside of us. We have God our Father and our Lord Jesus Christ directing us, guiding us, speaking to us, and providing for us through His Spirit. Many times I pray for direction, for understanding, and for guidance to know the way I am to go. I walk by Faith- but it is His Road Map that leads me. For some reason, I have a bad habit of not heeding His voice when He clearly tells me to walk away. I try to make it work this way, or maybe if I do this it will work. I find every reason I can to do it my way- and I end up in chains and living without peace. I think its something I have to have, something I have to do, or something/someone who will complete my life and make me happy. So I choose to ignore His warnings, His goodness and His protection and go after it anyway. Lord Help My Unbelief!
     Yesterday, I  chose not to ignore the unsettled spirit that was inside me and I walked away from the new job. I listened and He blessed me in the one I currently have. Yes, I had to back out of one commitment, but I was able to make the previous commitment more secure, more sure, and I was at peace with it all. It was His best for me to stay where I was, and not to choose to work two jobs. He blessed me in the one He had already given me, and now I do not have to go back to working 70 hours a week, with no time for Him or myself. I thought if I did both jobs then I would reach my goals, my dreams of being at peace and finally free to be on my own quicker. But He showed me the secret to reach the peace I seek and to finally be free. He showed me that being content is the first step towards true peace.
     As I was driving away from the job I was supposed to start, I heard my Lord say to me, "Be Content." I started to feel His peace again, His peace started to take root in my heart and I knew that I had made the right decision. I might have started down the wrong path, but He is faithful to lead me. I just have to learn to listen.
     Being content is not easy because it requires us to let go. It requires us to let go of what we think we need, what we thing we deserve, what we think we want, and who we think we are to be. It requires us to lay down all that we have and to come before God our Father, trusting Him to meet our every need. It requires us to trust His plans and His purposes; His provision and His faithfulness. I have not had it easy this past month, but when I look at where I am, what I do have, and who I am becoming in Him- I am at peace. It is, in the end, enough for me.
     Contentment is not an act, it is not a place we visit when things are going well. It is a peaceful resting in the One who is leading you and guiding you. Just like Faith, we have to walk in it. We have to trust Him for it and know that He is working all things out for our good and His glory. Be content, be content with what He has done for me thus far, and be content with what He is still working out on my behalf. He knows my desire to finally be free of my past mistakes, to finally be at peace with who I am in Him- as a Single Woman Unto the Lord. He has not stopped working in me, and with that I am content.
   

"Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me." Philippians 4:11-13

     Paul encourages us that we too can come to a peaceful place and be satisfied with all the life circumstances we find ourselves in- no matter what, or who, or why. You see, I am learning what Paul learned. I am learning that as I walk by faith, heeding the voice of my Savior living in me, He will take care of me. He will supply all I need. No matter who tries to hurt me, manipulate me, or bring me low. No matter what my paycheck is or isn't this week, no matter if my bank account is barely enough to get me gas to get me to work. He will supply all my needs as I listen to Him. I must be still, and stop chasing my own way and be content with where He has me today.
     I have fallen into some pretty hard places, and found myself unsatisfied, unsettled and miserable; all because I chose not to listen. I have been hurt, and even now I am facing a battle to finally be free from the past I walked away from. But I heeded His voice and He answered my cry, and in that I can be satisfied. No, it has not ended up the way I thought it would; I had truly hoped that it would have been done and over with, and I could have been free to live my single life in peace- but not everyone has faith, not everyone believes. So, even though I have to face my past in a few weeks, I can be strengthened and encouraged that no matter what happens, I am content and I am at peace.

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     Being content means we are satisfied with our place in life; we are satisfied where we are at this very moment and are confident we are exactly where we need to be. Our Father does not ask us to have all the answers, or even to understand why we find ourselves where we do. He only asks that we trust Him for putting us here and to be content living in His peace. I may be broke and living on peanut butter and jelly, and only have enough for one more tank of gas to get me back and forth to work this week- but He has not failed me, He has not let me go, and that is enough for me. I may not have the best car in the world, and I may have to pray everyday it gets me from point A to point B, but right now- that is enough for me. I am learning to be content and I am learning to be at peace.
     Be content where you are and in who He is making you to be. Be satisfied with Him, even when you are hungry, even if you don't know how you are going to make it to work this week. Be content with the job you have, and trust Him to provide for all your needs. Be content to be single and free, be content to be who you are and where He has you, no matter the circumstances, no matter what enemy tries to disrupt that peace- be content my friend, and be at peace. Trust Him, He is going to meet all your needs- and one day, you will finally be free.
   

"And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus. To our God and Father be glory forever and ever. Amen." Philippians 4:19-20