Chapters Of My Life: Faithfully Free

(November 7th, 2019) 

     I am striving to live a life regret free. I am striving to live a life worthy of the One who bled and died for me. I am striving to live free, faithfully free. My life is actually pretty great. I have everything that is dear to me, and everything I need. Oh, I have regrets. I have conviction. I have emotions, struggles and fiery trials too. Most of the struggles I face are of my own making. (I'm sowing what I'm reaping!) But occasionally, the Lord will, and He does, fan the flames and a fiery trial hits me on my blindside.
     This evening, I was sitting outside trying to get a fire going and the thought occurred to me- He knows how hot the fire needs to be to refine me and shine me into a vessel for His glory. He knows when to pull you out, and when to turn the heat up. We do not know what we shall be or what He is creating us to be; however, we know that in the end, we will be like Him.
   

 This is why He is calling me to live faithfully free. In Him, with Him and For Him. Always. Period, final. Amen? The heat is gonna rise and trials and blindsides are going to come from every side. But I can't sit back and let the fire die. I have to keep adding wood to it. He fans the flames and controls the environment, but we gotta be willing to put in the work. We got to be willing to be kindling. Rekindle the flame Lord. Rekindle the fire. Amen?
     The struggle I have been having is trying to determine which way I should go from here. I got the wood for the sacrifice, but God ain't shown me the mountain I got to climb, or where to build it yet. So I am waiting. But in that waiting I hear another voice in my head, making me question and doubt what He has promised me. I go back and forth on which one do I believe. I want to live faithfully free, but fear has snared me and I am striving against the pains of regrets. Should have, could have, but didn't; is the story of my Life. I want to be rekindled, but I am afraid. Afraid I am just deceiving myself once again, so there is no point in trying again. I give up and go back to doing what is easier.
     But thankfully, even though I am unfaithful; He is still faithful to teach me and point me in the right way. I am always in His presence, and always a part of His plan. Even when I mess up and have regret. But He has shown me that regrets are not bad. In fact, if we do have a regret, we shouldn't look at it in sadness; but instead with openness and willingness to learn a lesson and not take that way again. Regrets are boundaries we need to pay attention to and set, so that when the temptation or desire blindsides you again, your walls will be secured in His grace. You will be able to walk away and live faithfully free without regrets. That is a true life of peace. That is the life He intends for me. Free, Faithfully Free.
     But my fear of being decieved, and even the fear of having to give up the rest of me; keeps me in prison and I don't know what to believe. What if I am wrong, what if I am not hearing God, but am decieved? Praise God He has given me a way to break free! I know the way, and which voice to believe- His sheep know His voice. He speaks to me. But I have to put in the work and bring some wood for the fire. I have to listen to Him, and there is only one way to do that.

Faith comes by hearing and hearing by the Word of God.
Romans 10:3 NKJV

     His Word. My 66 books of instruction to help me find that mountain and begin my journey. Where He waits for me, and has a place for me. If you do not know which way to go, start there- anywhere in the 66 books He has given us. It's the handbook for life. If you don't know it, you will never find your way and those two voices- the one telling you one way, while another whispers no, it's this way- you will be able to begin to distinguish His voice from the others, and His will, it will become clearer and your fear will fall away. You will be walking by faith.
     So, here I go. Taking a leap of faith and trusting that His voice is the voice I am following. And when I doubt, when I question, when I fear- and yes, especially when I fall- all I have to do is open my ears to His word. And the fiery trial, and even my regrets that I will experience will be lessons and blessings I will be equipped to bear. The fear of the fires that are to come and the heat I may have to endure, are worth the little work He is asking me to put in. He's already done everything, all I must do is bring the wood. Faith without works is dead, if we believe what God speaks to us through His Word, then it will show in the way we live.  Amen?
     All He asks of me is to trust His Voice, His Word to me. Trust it enough to walk in it and walk it out. If I find myself convicted of sin, do the work, chop some wood and let Him handle the fire. Regrets are like diamonds, they are black, hard coal on the outside, but apply enough pressure and beauty is revealed within. Regrets are meant to bring us to the end of ourself and teach us how not to choose that path again. I am not going to sit at the foot of this mountain any more. I've got my axe, it's time to make some kindling for this fire. Amen?
   I pray these words will shine a light into your pilgrim heart. And if in someway I could encourage you along your way, then praise be to Him and glory be to His name.