Chapters of My Life: Life is Good

(August 24, 2019) 

     It has been awhile since I have sat down and had any motivation or inspiration to write. I am exhausted. I am not complaining, well, maybe a little...but let's be honest, I am not 35 anymore! I can't work like I used to. I used to be able to pull 60+ hours a week doing manual labor, but dang if it ain't torture on these joints of mine! I ache everywhere. But I have to confess, I laugh as I write these words. If you only knew what this opportunity to work like this does for my soul, you would understand why it brings me so much joy. Not to mention, it is an answer to my prayers, above and beyond the answer to my prayers. I asked for help, and I asked for His provision, and He has not let me down. It may be hard and I may have to get conditioned for this work again, but I can do all things through Christ, Who strengthens me.
   

 And, since I'm being open and honest, I have kind of been avoiding Him of late. No, it's not because I have done some terrible thing and am trying to hide. No it's actually my pride and my determined to have my way- will, that is the problem. He and I are in a disagreement, well, I am in disagreement. He is still God and He will always win. But I'm that stubborn mule; you got to put a bit in my mouth to get me to move. We all do it, we all fight against God when we really think we have to have something, or we think we need something. The Bible calls it rebellion. We rebel against God, every day.
     Praise God He is patient with me, and knows; sooner or later, I will give up, get mad and frustrated and come to Him. He never let's me go. I'm on a tight leash and I am perfectly content knowing He has me. I am not going to go into detail about what I want and what He has clearly said "No" to, but trust me, He isn't letting me off easy this time! And so He shouldn't! How else am I going to learn? He knows my rebellion and He knew I was going to pitch a hissy fit when He gave me my answer; but yet He still answered my prayer. That is the lesson He has been teaching me; even the "No's" of my life are for my good. If I will stop my stubborn will for one moment, and look through the eyes of His Word to me; then I will see the unfolding of His promise coming to pass before me. If I would stop for one second, accept the "No" with joy, and turn my eyes onto heavenly things; I will see and understand the puzzle pieces once and for all. He reveals His purpose in us every single day, through all that we do, we fail to look because we are still upset about the "No". We know our calling. He lives it out in us every day, all we have to do is stop fighting for our way and look up. Then we will have peace. Amen?
     I have been struggling financially for quite a few months, and I have been praying and asking and begging God to help me. I go backband forth, do I get a part-time job on top of my current job or find a management position again and go salary. I have been praying for direction, and the only answer I have gotten is, "Be patient. Trust me." So I would take a deep breath and hope for the best. But it's been tough and it's bothered me non-stop.  I had to be obedient. I've been disobedient before, and it never ended well, so I've waited for Him to lead.
     I am a natural born leader. Always have been bossy and always will be. Unfortunately sometimes that means I take initiative and I start to lead where I see a lack of it. But something the Lord taught me years ago is that no matter what, I must do my best and walk worthy of the salary and hours I am receiving,  like a good servant. So I will always do my best to be a woman of integrity in my positions. But, like I said, this means that sometimes I just step in and start to do and take over. There are always people whose toes are going to feel stepped on, especially the ones who aren't taking the initiative to do anything. But, I am a very business minded woman and when I see lack, it just comes out of me to fill that need and to make it profitable. It is who I am, a natural born leader. I can't help it.
     What the Lord has shown me is that not only am I able to work and get the hours, I am using some skills and knowledge that I haven't used in awhile, and, I'm going to need it. He is preparing something for me, that is why the "No" had to be a "No", it's not part of His plan. He has a future and a hope all planned out for me. All He asks me to do is walk in it. No means no, so just give it up, do what He is showing you and leave all the rest (everyone else's feelings, opinions, and all my worries) to Him. I just focus on Him. No one else answers my prayers or provides for me, why would I listen to them and not God? Amen?
     I have prayed, God has answered, life is good. That my friends, is good enough for me! Besides, this body is not going to last forever, why waste what time God has given me on something that does not work for my good? I'll choose the work, besides, it is His will for me. God Bless.