Chapters of My Life: All is Not Lost

(August 13th, 2019) 

"...the land is like the garden of Eden before them, but behind them a desolate wilderness, and nothing escapes. Joel 2:3 ESV

     When I was a little girl, I had all these huge plans and dreams. I would sit in my room for hours and write them down in my journal and hope that one day they would all come true. But then life happened. My life took changes that I did not plan, but happened because of the choices and decisions I made. The older I became, the more my hopes and dreams started to look like a desolate wilderness. I found myself not living my dreams, but living someone else's dream for me. 

   

 Two years ago, I realized this when my very best friend (of 33 years) said to me - stop living your life for everyone else. Live for you. Find you. She asked me why I let other people tell me what is best for me. I felt like I had wasted all those years of my life at that very moment. But it was also a wake up call for me. Nothing was wasted, there was still hope. There was still a little leaf left on the branch of my life. With a few big life changes and a whole lot of faith; this little girl's hopes and dreams were beginning to take on new life. Once I realized that the only one who can tell me what is best for me is my Father in Heaven, I was able to make those decisions for myself and take those leaps of faith. No one else knows what is best for me. I live my life for Him, and He takes care of me; He knows what is best for me.

     I really cannot tell you enough how true His Word is. There has not been a day in my life where He has ever failed me. Even when I failed Him. Even in my sins, and in my despair, He never left me, and He never failed me. He even answers my silent, secret prayers. 

     This past weekend, I went to the mountains with my daughter, son in law, and other family members. On the way to the campgrounds, as we were coming into Grandfather mountain State Park, I said to myself, "Lord, it would be awesome if I could see a bear." The weekend went by and I didn't think much of it after that. Monday morning, the day we were leaving, I couldn't sleep. I was up really early and was sitting by the fire. It was about 3:30 in the morning, and it was dark out. The light from the fire was all I had. I heard what sounded like something falling down the mountainside. Then I heard panting and heavy feet running right behind me- like within 50 feet of where I was sitting. It went behind our cabin and onto the path. A security light came on as he came out from behind the cabins, and sure enough it was a black bear. Not very big, just a little guy, cute as a button! He ran through the campground, and headed to the apple tree. I remembered my silent prayer, and my heart was filled with joy. I smiled to myself, and then had to giggle a little too. I wanted to see a bear Lord, just didn't want it to scare the living day lights out of me in the process! He does that though- He makes me smile and laugh and brings me great joy! 

     But, it also proves that God is always listening, and His love for me is so grand that even a simple silent request to see a bear, He can and will fulfill. Nothing is ever completely lost, there is always hope. The locusts always leave a leaf. As in nature, as in life, even after the locusts have come and gone, everything destroyed will grow back. There is nothing wasted when you put your hope in God. 

“Yet even now,” declares the Lord,

    “return to me with all your heart,

with fasting, with weeping, and with mourning;

 and rend your hearts and not your garments.”

Return to the Lord your God,

    for he is gracious and merciful,

slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love;

    and he relents over disaster.

Joel 2:12-13 

     Those dreams I wrote down all those years ago- they are still alive, and there is still time. God can and will and does restore. What I have to come to understand, and learn, and live is that life is not about how old you are, it is about how you live your life each day. Time is not ours. It is His. He knows. He sees. He hears and He prepares. That little girl who was full of hopes and dreams, she still exists, I just need to dig her up from all the disappointments she has been buried under. 

     But my God is making a way for her, and He is making a way for me. He is making a way for His purposes and His plans to come to pass. My calling in life has never changed, even from when I was a little girl, writing down my hopes and dreams, it all had a purpose and it all had a plan. And in His timing, in His way it will all come to pass. These desires of my heart that I longed for all those years ago- they are not lost. The locusts might have eaten up my hopes and dreams, but God made sure they left a leaf; and He will give it the increase. Amen. 

     

I will restore to you the years

    that the swarming locust has eaten,

the hopper, the destroyer, and the cutter,

    my great army, which I sent among you.

“You shall eat in plenty and be satisfied,

    and praise the name of the Lord your God,

    who has dealt wondrously with you.

And my people shall never again be put to shame.

You shall know that I am in the midst of Israel,

    and that I am the Lord your God and there is none else.

And my people shall never again be put to shame.

Joel 2:25-27 

    

     It might seem like wasted years to me, and that my garden of Eden, is gone. But God has shown me, that even the locusts leave a leaf or two. Have faith. There is always hope. I am sure most of us have these feelings of wasted years and wasted time; mistakes we wish we would have never made. But, I cannot live my life in what was, or what might have been. I can only live in today and have hope and faith that "He who promised is faithful." (Hebrews 10:23)

     All it takes is a simple prayer of faith for God to "restore to you the years that the swarming locusts have eaten."(Joel 2:32)  I know what God has shown me, and is showing me to be true; because He confirms it to me with every answered prayer I pray. If you are like I was two years ago, wondering what happened to all those wasted years, I pray these words give you encouragement and hope that nothing is wasted when you turn to Him. It may look hopeless and desolate to you; but there is always a leaf left. And we have a God that can work with that. All is not lost. Amen?