When I owned my own business I had freedom. I could arrange my schedule and my time however I saw fit. I was able to have freedom with my time and my life. Today, that is not the case. The truth is, time is not mine, never has been, and never will be. Time has always been His.
I got in my car, grabbed some coffee and went to the river. Something about being outdoors near water just soothes my soul. I can be alone with God, while learning, listening, smelling and breathing Him in. For me, it is bliss. I sat down along the Neuse River and watched as it made its way along the banks in front of me. "Be whomever you want to be." The words flowed through me like the river flowed over the rocks, trees and banks. Be whomever you want to be.
Does the river ask the trees if it can be a river? No, the river is the river, providing nourishment and life along its banks. It is a river, and it is beautiful in its own way. Nothing created is without purpose. "He has made everything beautiful in its time." (Ecclesiastes 3:11) As I sat there, rain started to fall, and the words kept rolling over me. Be whomever you want to be. "But who is that?" I asked. Like the rain washes away the dust, and gives refreshment from the heat; so does His mercy when we turn to Him.
I thought to myself that it might be selfish of me to just go out and "be whomever", like the river, it doesn't ask, it just moves and is the river. But it can also destroy if the conditions worsen. Too much rain and this river can destroy lives. Not enough rain, and everything dies. But under the right conditions, under the right control it can be sustained and reigned in, leaving nothing but beauty and abundance along is sides. God isn't saying to be selfish, but to be self-less. Empty myself of everything I think I know and discover the beauty that He is about to unfold.
"I perceived that there is nothing better for them than to be joyful and to do good as long as they live; also that everyone should eat and drink and take pleasure in all his toil-this is God's gift to man. I perceived that whatever God does endures forever; nothing can be added to it, nor anything taken from it. God has done it, so that people fear before him. That which is, already has been; that which is to be, already has been; and God seeks what has been driven away."
It is not selfish to seek your identity. I have been many roles in my life, but those roles consumed me, they became me. My identity is not found in my marriage, children, church, or any career. My identity; who I am, who I was created to be- is only found by pursing Him. He alone knows what has been, and what will be in regards to my life. And only He truly knows me.
I have an opportunity before me to become new; a new creation, wrapped up in the cocoon of His grace. He has given me the opportunity to find out who I truly am- who He created me to be. It's always been there. I just never looked up from the role I was consumed in long enough to see it. Like the river, I have an opportunity to flow, to discover and to give life along the way. I have the opportunity to bloom where I am planted, and give benefit to all I meet.
The longer I sat on that river bank, the more encouraged and strengthened I became. There is a quiet strength in a river. They cut, forge, expand and grow; rivers persevere. Water will always find a way, no matter what. Where do I even begin to know who I want to be? I know some
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| Me at the Neuse River 8/5/19 |
"Picture the best version of yourself, and be her." You know that woman, because deep down inside, she is you. He has shown her to you. Picture her, and, like this river, persevere to be her every single day. When things get rough, and they will; or when life overflows your banks, know that it will pass, and God will use your past to bring more glory and more honor to His name through you.
Be whomever you want to be. The problem is, in the past, I sought what I thought everyone else said I should be; wife, mother, good servant in the church, career woman, entrepreneur...etc, etc, etc. But none of these roles were who I was; who Stephane was created to be. I sought my identity in roles; when only He knows the real me. Seek Him and I will come to know me, and become that "whomever" I want to be. I don't know what kind of bloom I will be, but I trust He knows and that is enough for me. Amen.
"For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known." 1 Corinthians 13:12 KJV
Be the woman you want to be.
Nothing is stopping me, but me.
He is the answer.
He holds the Key
He holds the Key
Be whomever you want to be.
Bloom where you are planted.
"...whatever God does, endures forever; nothing can be added to it, nor anything taken from it. God has done it, so that people fear before Him. (Ecclesiastes 3:14)
The choice is mine on who to be.
The woman I was. The woman I am.
The woman I was. The woman I am.
Or the woman God created me to be.
Whichever one I choose, I pray His grace
will guide me and give me
strength to carry through.
Amen.
Amen.
Bloom where you are planted,
do not seek to move.
God has made this special place especially for you.
He tilled the soil.
He prepped the ground.
He pulled the weeds and planted you where you are.
He prepped the ground.
He pulled the weeds and planted you where you are.
Do not seek to move.
All you see is darkness now,
All you see is darkness now,
but once you bloom you will see
the field of beauty God has created for thee.
Bloom where you are planted.
Bloom where you are planted.
Amen.
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