I have arrived. I have made it to Iowa safely and have began to settle in. My daughter and son in law rode with me and are flying out in a few days. I think then it will be more real. Right now, it kind of feels like a vacation, and in a few days I will leave and go back to North Carolina. I will admit the thought is tempting because the cold here seems much colder than I remember! But no, I have made a decision, and I am sticking to it.
I wasn’t sure I was making the right decision at first. Nothing seemed to be going in my favor at all. I was without financial support, no vehicle, and I had just enough in my bank account to rent a truck, get gas and live off for a while; hopefully till I could get a job. Not to mention the issues we had with the rental car place, which caused us to leave almost six hours later than anticipated. After all that happened, I finally get in the truck to leave and this notification pops up on my phone:
Facebook Memory- February 20th 2018
“2017 was a year of change- big change. 2018 is turning out to be a year of lessons; lessons I needed to learn; lessons I needed to grow from. It has taken many years, but I have finally come to a point in my life where I will no longer sacrifice what I want, what I know I can achieve, for the sake of someone else’s dream. I will no longer be used, or abused. I have set boundaries, and will continue to set those boundaries as needed to ensure the future life I want for myself. I will not sacrifice who I am, what I believe or what I want for anyone else again. This is a lesson I have learned.”
Unfortunately I did not live by those words. In fact, that very night I had my very first date with (M). A week later I would be doing exactly what I said I wouldn’t. I couldn’t even keep my word to myself for one whole day! Fast forward 1 year later; and this is what I realized; this is what hit me like a ton of bricks. I do everything in my power to keep my word to others. I am not perfect, and I make mistakes. But I strive every day to live rightly and to keep my word to others. But I rarely keep my word to myself.
What benefit has come from me lying to myself? Because that's what it is- lying to myself. I tell myself I am going to live right, read my Bible every day, pray all the time, eat right, save money, whatever it is- but then I turn around and do the exact opposite. I slip a day here and there on reading, or I have an extra helping of cake. I fall head first into the same pattern over and over again. Why is that?
I began asking myself a we finished loading- why am I like that? What causes me to lie to myself over and over again? By the time we got the in the truck to leave; I had made my decision. I had come to this conclusion. The most important person we can keep our word to is God. We are accountable to Him; whether you choose to accept it or not- truth is truth (Amen?!)
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| Sign hanging up in a store I went into on Feb. 27th |
My word; my integrity is to and for God first. I believe Paul might have lived by this rule; to keep his word to God and himself. I believe this because in Philippians 3, Paul describes himself as always pressing forward; not having yet attained. This gives me hope.
“Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. Let those of us who are mature think this way, and if in anything you think otherwise, God will reveal that also to you. Only let us hold true to what we have attained.” Philippians 3:13-16 ESV
Paul strove everyday to do what? He pressed on to keep his word. What do I mean? Paul kept God’s Word. We are to do the same. Jesus said- “Keep my word”. All throughout the Bible God the Father says- “Keep my Word”. When we become Christians and proclaim we are His, then we are responding with an agreement to do exactly that- keep His Word. Paul understood that he had a covenant relationship with God the Father through Jesus Christ. He knew Jesus saved him, and now, because God did His part; Paul agreed to do his- keep His Word.
He failed, according to him he failed everyday; but he didn’t let it wake up with him. He put his day to bed, and woke up with a clean slate to try to keep His Word today. Paul was a man of integrity and God used him mightily. But Paul knew that at the end of the day, the only one who was worth pleasing was God, the rest of the world could go to bed and stay there. In the end God was, and is, and always will be the only One worth pleasing.
Why strive so hard to please man, when God is the only one who matters? Keep your word to Him, and God will take care of the rest. Amen?
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