When
it rains, it pours! It never ceases to amaze me how one little trial can turn
into a chaotic disaster in less than sixty seconds! I just can’t seem to catch
a break! Every day for the past two weeks something has happened to create
chaos and turmoil in my business and in my life. I get so discouraged! I just
want to pack it all in and say to heck with it! I am done! But, here I am,
another day behind me and another one before me. I am alive, breathing and
still on this earth, apparently, God still has a purpose and a plan for me. But
this chaos, and these trials, will they ever end?
“For
God is not a God of confusion but of peace. As in all the churches of the
saints,” 1 Corinthians 14:33 ESV
Chaos
is a state of disarray. Chaos creates confusion, disorder and a lack of
organization. Chaos is a tornado that rips through the peaceful little village
of calm and quiet. Chaos is confusing, and confounding. These past few weeks could
be described as nothing less than chaotic. I have found myself faced with issue
after issue, battling every step of the way. Some days I just want to sit down
and cry! I am growing weary and I don’t understand what I am doing wrong, or
why any of this keeps happening. Yet, I find peace in this truth- God is not a God
of confusion but of peace. Confusion is not from God. Chaos is not who God is.
God is peace. He is order and calm. He stills the storm. He quiets the troubled
soul. God is not a God of confusion. Our enemy is.
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“Humble
yourselves therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time
He may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on Him, because He cares for you.
Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a
roaring lion seeking someone to devour. Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing
that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood
throughout the world. And after you have suffered a little while, the God of
all grace, who has called you to His eternal glory in Christ, will Himself
restore, confirm, strengthen and establish you. To Him be the dominion forever
and ever. Amen.” 1 Peter 5:6-11
Your
adversary the devil seeks to kill, steal and destroy anything and everything about
you. He is the one who has brought confusion and chaos into your life. Remember
Job? Remember how the enemy came before the Lord and asked God to prove Job, to
test Job to see what Job was made of. (Job 1:6-12) Our enemy wants to destroy
our testimony. If he can do it he will and he will do it through chaos and
confusion. The enemy is fast on our heels, but God is with us and nothing can
defeat us.
“Your
way was through the sea, Your path through the great waters; yet your
footprints were unseen.” Psalm 77:19
The
Israelites were faced with utter destruction under the hand of Pharaoh and his
army. In front of them was the raging waters of the Red sea and fast on their
heels was the entire Egyptian army, seeking to kill and destroy every last one
of them. But God made a way for them. God parted the waters and made a way for
them. They walked through the Red sea in peace. There was order, not chaos as
they made their way on foot through the parted waters. There was chaos and
confusion all around them, but God was in the midst of them, giving them a way through
it all.
Peter
reminds us to cast all our anxieties on Him because He cares for us. God’s providential
care has not left you. It is still there, holding you and guiding you and
making a way for you through the vast sea of chaos that is all around you.
“Beloved,
do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as
though some strange thing has happened to you. But rejoice insofar as you share
Christ’s sufferings, that you may rejoice and be glad when His glory is
revealed.” 1 Peter 4:12-13
We
are being conformed to the image of Christ. He suffered, so will we. I think we
get so caught up in the blessings that we miss the beauty that is found amid
the suffering. These trials, these days of endless chaos have made me run to my
Lord and Savior. They have made me seek Him out; they have caused my heart to
find solace in His Word. I have come to rely on His Word to help me get through
every single day. I have found strength in the simplest verses, and He has
given me courage and wisdom to face whatever chaos might come my way. I have
been reminded of His faithfulness. I have seen His Sovereign hand upon my life
and I have grown in the knowledge and comfort of who my God is.
For
many years, I have lived with a family that does not seek God. I have been
unequally yoked to an unbeliever. I have cried out to the Lord on many occasions,
begging Him to either save him or let me leave him. There have been some rough
patches. I have begged Him to give me strength and to make me into the light
they need to see. I have had times and moments of wanting to give up, of
wanting to walk away and never look back. But every time God has strengthened
me and given me the courage to stay.
It
wasn’t until a close friend of mine reminded me of the testimony I was to her
that I started to see the blessing and beauty amid my suffering. She reminded
me that because of his unbelief I had grown dependent on the Lord. I had been a
testimony to her in regards to perseverance, and trusting in God alone. She
said she saw me making Him my one and only and it caused her to want to do the
same. She reminded me that my trials, my chaos and the suffering I faced were a
testimony to His unfailing grace. She watched me lean on Him, run to Him, and
rely on Him and it encouraged her to do the same. She saw His faithfulness to
me and it encouraged her to see His faithfulness to her.
These
past few weeks, heck, this entire year so far has been a constant uphill
battle. But God is not the author of this chaos, my enemy is. God may have
allowed it to happen, but through everything the enemy has thrown at me, my God
is making me stronger, bolder and more courageous to face whatever chaos the
enemy wants to throw my way. God is building in me a greater weight of glory
that will testify of His unfailing and unending grace. The army of the enemy
may be fast on my heels, but my God is making a way for me. I may be troubled
on every side, but I will not be dismayed. My God will make a way. Amen.

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