I Am A Doubter

            I doubt myself a lot. I always have. I am not the most intelligent creature on the face of this earth, and if you were to look at my high school transcripts you would probably agree I am not the smartest either. I have always struggled with learning. It is not that I don’t like to learn, it’s that I don’t like to sit still long enough to learn. After I became a Christian, however, that desire to learn changed in me. I wanted to know Jesus, I wanted to know His Word and I did not want to stop. Still to this day, the one book I love to learn from is my Bible. It is the source of everything I will ever need to know. God’s knowledge is the only knowledge worth pursuing. But, still, I doubt myself.

            My business has finally become established. After many years of diligent work, it is finally to a place where I can begin to add to us those people who will help us grow. I have laid a foundation, I have poured the final piece of concrete and this company is ready to move on to the next section. But, yet, I doubt myself. I doubt my dream. I doubt my dream for this business. I wonder and pray to the Lord if this is really what He has for me. Is this really His plan and direction for my life? Is this really what He has prepared for me to walk in? I wonder and I doubt because I know I am not the brightest crayon in the box. I am not the smartest cookie and I know my limitations when it comes to the business I am in. I do not have a degree in pet sitting.

“Now Solomon purposed to build a temple for the name of the Lord, and a royal place for Himself. And Solomon assigned 70,000 men to bear burdens and 80,000 to quarry in the hill country, and 3,600 to oversee them. And Solomon sent word to Hiram the king of Tyre: ‘As you dealt with David my father and sent him cedar to build for himself a house to dwell in, so deal with me. Behold I am about to build a house for the name of the Lord my God and dedicate it to Him for the burning of incense and sweet spices before him, and for the regular arrangement of the showbread, and for burnt offerings morning and evening, on the Sabbaths and the new moons and the appointed feasts of the Lord our God, as ordained forever for Israel. The house that I am to build will be great, for our God is greater than all gods. But who is able to build him a house, since heaven, even highest heaven, cannot contain Him? Who am I to build a house for Him, except as a place to make offerings before Him?’”
2 Chronicles 2:1-6 ESV

            Solomon doubted himself too. He asked the king of Tyre who could build a house for Lord? Solomon probably asked himself every day who he thought he was to think that he could build such a great temple for the Lord. But Solomon also had a dream, a desire to do this and he purposed in his heart to make it happen. Solomon knew what he wanted to do. He wanted to build a great temple for the Lord. He had a dream and a vision and he wanted to bring it to fruition.

            Even though he doubted his own ability to carry this dream out, he still went ahead and issued the commands to make it happen. He assigned people to do the work. He planned, determined and directed. He did not do the work himself, he directed and he led. A good leader leads their people. They direct and assign the work to be done. They do not do the work themselves. I have worked very hard and very diligently to get this company to a place where I can now hire and employ the right people for the jobs I once used to do. I spent many years building and laying the foundation, working and hammering away at all the details. Finally, after all that time and effort, sweat and tears, I am at a place where I can afford to lead and let others work.

            We must move from workers to leaders if we are going to see our dreams succeed. We must move from doers to delegators. We must trust those who we have assigned tasks to and we must communicate the work that needs to be done. Solomon did not pick up a saw and cut the timber himself. He did not pick up a hammer and start pounding in the nails. He directed and led those who had the skill to bear the burdens needed to build the great house.

            Solomon also built with purpose. One thing I have learned over the years is that if I attempt to build this business with any other purpose than to glorify God, then I should just quit. Solomon did not build a temple to give God a new home. Solomon was humbled by the thought that God would live in a place built by human hands, for who can build a temple for the God whose throne is Heaven? But Solomon did have a purpose, and it wasn’t to just build a temple, but it was to make God’s name great. What is the purpose of what you are building today? What is the purpose for your ministry, your business, your “temple”? If it is not to glorify God and make His name great, then all your work is in vain. We must exist, whether in business or in our daily lives, we must exist to magnify God and be a testimony to His Name Sake. That is the purpose of our lives.

            Solomon may have doubted his abilities, but others did not. He saw his lack, but others saw his wisdom, discretion and understanding before God. Solomon doubted his abilities to build a temple for the God who was greater than all other gods. But the king of Tyre did not think him incompetent, in fact, he saw him quite the opposite.

“Then Hiram the king of Tyre answered in a letter that he sent to Solomon, ‘Because the Lord loves His people, He has made you king over them.’ Hiram also said, ‘Blessed be the Lord God of Israel, who made heaven and earth, and has given King David a wise son, who has discretion and understanding, who will build a temple for the Lord and a royal palace for himself.’” 2 Chronicles 2:11-12

            The king of Tyre called Solomon wise. Solomon was seen by others to be acute in his judgments and in his knowledge of many subjects. He was said to have a very deep understanding of nature, and had skill in his ability to write hymns and sentences. He did write quite a few books in the Old Testament. Solomon was not only seen as a judge who judged rightly, but was respected for his ability to discern situations. He had great insight. He could pull back the layers of cream and see the raw milk underneath. He was skilled in many things. But Solomon didn’t see himself that way. He saw himself as a child, unable to fill the shoes of such a great dream. Solomon needed confidence to do what God had called him to do.

            No one was able to build a temple for God because of His greatness. Yet, God chose Solomon specifically for that task. You do not lead your company, your business, or your ministry by choice, nor is it because you have great abilities. You are not CEO because you have this profound wisdom that passes all understanding. This is the Lord’s doing. Hiram spoke to Solomon words of encouragement, words to assure him that he was king because God had chosen him to be king.

            Remember Esther and what Mordecai said to her when she doubted her place and purpose in life? Esther said she did not think she could do what Mordecai was asking of her. She doubted that the king would even speak to her, and if she just waltzed into his room he could kill her. But Mordecai responded with, “And who knows whether you have not come to the kingdom for such a time as this?” (Esther 4:14)

            You did not choose this path. He chose you for it. You have been made a king, a queen, a leader over this people. Not because you studied and worked hard to get here, which I am sure some of you have, but even all that was because God had chosen you for it. You are here, at this moment, for such a time as this because God, in His great wisdom chose you specifically for this. You have been given a great responsibility and a great purpose. God has given you this assignment, now go, be confident and build it for Him. Amen?