A New Adventure- The Final Chapter

               I am scared. I stand here today, on the precipice of one of the biggest changes to my company that I will probably ever make. I have done the research and I have prayed. I have sought out wise counsel, and I have prayed even more. I have waited patiently on the Lord to show me clearly if this is the right path for me, and I have prayed. This decision has improved my prayer life by leaps and bounds! I have done everything I believe He has shown me to do. Yet here I am standing on this precipice, scared and uncertain because I can’t see what is waiting for me on the other side of it. I am scared.

“Let us with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.” Hebrews 4:16 ESV

            One of my favorite verses of all time is this scripture in Hebrews. I am always encouraged by the words “with confidence”. I have always portrayed myself to be a confident person on the outside. But to be completely open and honest, I rarely have a clue! I wing it- a lot! However, as I face these changes in my business and begin to take the steps before me, I find my heart fluttering with indecision, and my thoughts chasing questions of “what if this happens, or what if that happens”. What if I am just kidding myself and God hasn’t been in any of this ever? That’s scary!

            Whenever my mind and my heart begin to get filled with indecision I find my peace and balance in the Word of God. Many times, I think we as Christians run to man to help steady our boats amid the storm, when the only One I know who has ever calmed the sea is Jesus Christ our Lord. He is the only One we truly need. We can be sure that we are going to have days, weeks and possibly even months of insecurity when we become faced with big leaps of faith. But, our God is still the God of the sea and He won’t let us sink.

            We must be confident. We must, with confidence, draw near to Him so that as our boat rocks upon the choppy waters of insecurity, we can grab ahold of His anchor of mercy and grace and trust Him to help us find our way through this. One of the things He has taught me is that my lack of confidence, my fear of the unknown, finds its root in the fear of what others may say and what others may do. Just stop and think about Noah for just a second. Here is a man who was told by God to build a boat upon land that has never seen rain and has never even heard of it. Noah had no idea what a flood was. Noah was not confident that it would rain, He was confident in Who God was, the God of mercy and grace. He was able, with confidence, to build a boat even though every single person he knew laughed at him, told him he was crazy, or told him that God was not telling him to do so. Despite what everyone else said, Noah remained confident in God.

            God has been showing me these many months, as I have researched, prayed and prayed some more that this business is not mine, it is His. He has shown me that it’s not anyone else’s decision to make, it is my decision based off what He has shown me I need to do. He will hold me accountable to my obedience or disobedience, depending on which one I choose. It’s not personal, I keep telling myself, it’s business. What is laid before me is what I believe is best for me, my company, my clients, and those who work for me. If I didn’t think so, I wouldn’t be doing it.

            Our lack of confidence and our insecurity all come from the same place- fear. Fear replaces our confidence and we are no longer able to have the boldness it takes to walk in faith. If we are ever to walk by faith as God commands, then we must have confidence to enter it. How do we do this? How do we work past these fears and find the confidence and boldness it takes to enter faith? We search out the root of our fears, and come face to face with what truly scares us the most.

            My fear is that what I am about to change in my company will result in a loss of many of those who work for me. I am not letting anyone go, nor am I downsizing- I am restructuring the way I do business. Because of the growth over the past year and a half and the number of people who work for me, this is the best thing for me, and for the company. However, this restructuring will possibly result in many of my people making a choice to leave. My fear is that I will lose everyone and have no one left to help me meet my client’s needs. I will be all alone and will have to do it all by myself.

            My second fear is that those who work for me will become upset with me and many of the relationships I have built with them, and even the friends that I have hired to work for me, will turn their backs on me and no longer be my friends. All this that I fear could happen. But all of it could not. My fears could come to life right before my eyes, or they could remain figments of my imagination. I don’t know what will happen, and my fear of the unknown is what has caused me to lose confidence in the One I do know.

Even if all these fears come to pass, even if I lose every single one of the people who work for me, is not my God still big enough to bring me through it?

Is not my God still sitting on the throne?

Is not my God still able to do above and beyond all that I could ever ask or think?

            The writer of Hebrews tells us that we must come with confidence to the throne of grace. Our confidence does not rest in the results of our decisions or the choices we make. It rests in the throne of our God who is and was and always will be Sovereign Lord. This dark abyss of the unknown becomes a little bit brighter and I can begin to see a path before me as I draw near His throne of grace. I don’t know what is going to happen, nor do I know where these changes will lead, but I am confident that He who has brought me this far, will also bring me through.

            As I start to let go of these fears, I start to see a path amid the dark abyss. I can’t see it all, but I see enough to know that I can walk in confidence, holding onto His grace and His mercy as I take these next steps in faith. We are going to face many decisions and many times where fear is going to come against our faith. But we must not lose our focus, nor can we lose our confidence. Recognize the roots of your fears and draw near with confidence to the One who sits on the throne of your life. He who brought you this far, will carry you through to the end. God be with you as you walk this New Adventure with Him. In Jesus Name, Amen.