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I
heard a word today that hit me pretty hard. To be completely honest, when I
heard this word I was complaining about a particular person in my life. This
person and I have been having some issues, some struggles in our relationship
and I have been praying about the conflict for some time now. As I was thinking
about all the things I wish this person would change, I heard the word “Appreciate”.
Appreciate? (I found myself asking the Lord.) What does that have to do with
the struggle I am facing with this person? I was being appreciative, it wasn’t
me with the problem, it was them.
The
word appreciate means to be grateful and thankful. It means to find the value
in something or in someone and regard it with honor and respect. My thoughts
about this person have been less than grateful and certainly not appreciative
at all. This simple word showed me how ungrateful my heart really was. I have
been so focused on what I thought this person needed to change, I couldn’t see
the change needed in me.
“Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and
beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience,
bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving
one another, as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above
all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And
let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in
one body. And be thankful.” Colossians 3:12-15 ESV
Paul
gives us I these verses some simple ways to live in relationship with our
fellow man. As I read through these verses, I found myself falling very short.
I found my ungrateful heart beating so loud it was drowning out the love He has
called to walk in. I couldn’t hear His word telling me, “It’s not about them, it’s
about you.” I’m not going to go through every word that Paul writes to us in
these verses, I am only going to expound on the ones that jumped off the page
and hit me in my ungrateful heart.
First
of all, Paul tells us that we are God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved. We are
valued in the eyes of our Father. Every human life is precious to God. Every
man, woman and child has been predestined by God to have a place and a purpose
in this world. Every time I complain or begin to focus on that person’s faults
and failings, I devalue their worth. I don’t appreciate them. According to God,
we are all priceless. What right do I have to speak anything differently?
We
are also called to have compassionate hearts. Mercy should be the center of
every relationship we have with anyone. Is not the mercy of God central to your
life? Is not His mercy what brought you to see His grace and receive His gift
of life? Mercy is not getting what we deserve. Yes, we may be hurt and we may
be angry, but we also must have mercy. We did not, and do not get what we
deserve, so let us not be so eager to hope they get theirs.
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The
next words that jumped off the page of my Bible were Paul’s call to bear with
one another. Whenever I read these words I think about that woman who just
seems to push every single button I have. When I see her coming I usually run
the other way. But Paul encourages us to bear with them. The call to bear with
one another means that we put up with one another’s faults and idiosyncrasies. Those
things that person does to get on your nerves and to cause you to want to
complain about them, bear with them, because you probably get on their nerves
too. Bearing with one another also means to hold each other up. We should be
there for one another. We should be there to walk beside one another and hold
each other up. Yes, even the ones who seem to know where every button you have
is located.
Lastly,
Paul tells us to be thankful. The word used here doesn’t only mean to be
thankful. It means to be gracious. It means to be pleasant in your words, your
thoughts and your deeds. It means to be nice. One of the verses referenced to
help define the context of the word thankful is Proverbs 11:16, “A gracious woman
gets honor; and violent men get rich.” Have you ever been around someone who is
just not nice? Is there any honor in their words? When they talk about other
people, are their words gracious or thankful? Probably not. We are to be
opposite that. We are to be nice and gracious at all times, in all ways, even
in our thoughts about others. Your thoughts will determine your words, and your
words reveal your true feelings. Listen to yourself, are you gracious?
Be
thankful. Value and esteem others. Appreciate them. We all have these
relationships in our lives that could be better, that could be stronger, but we
don’t appreciate the other person enough to work on our bad behaviors. We focus
so much on what they are doing wrong that we fail to see our own ungrateful
hearts. God has called us to live in peace, not only with Him, but with others
as well. Until we can let go of what we think we deserve and appreciate others
for who God sees them as, we will continue to have struggles in our
relationships.
Paul
tells us in 1 Thessalonians 5:18 that we are to be a thankful people, a gracious
and loving people, for this is the will of God for those who are in Christ Jesus.
God does not desire us to live in struggling relationships with one another. He
desires us to live in peace and love having compassion on one another. We all
have faults and failures. We all deserve the worst, yet we have been given the
best. Let us not take that for granted with ungrateful hearts. Let us instead
strive to appreciate the worth God has placed on every individual life, whether
in Him or not.
I
pray today that you and I will choose to no longer walk with an ungrateful
heart, but that you will choose to put on compassion, love and graciousness in
all that you think, say and do. I pray that we, as His holy and beloved
children, will learn to value one another as deeply as we are valued by Him.
May the God of peace be with you, and may His Word be true. Amen and Amen.
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