It’s
not what you say it’s how you say it. Over the years I have told this to my
children more times than I can count. I will ask them a question and they will
respond in a disrespectful tone, or some other tone that causes me to take a
step back and remind them who they are talking to. Usually they will apologize
immediately, but occasionally I will get the excuse that they didn’t mean it to
sound that way, it just came out that way. Our words have a huge impact on
people, and
When
you want to get to know someone what do you do? You talk to them, of course.
You listen to them tell you about their likes, dislikes, hobbies, fears, etc.
The longer you listen to them the more you get to know them. If you, however,
do not take the time to really listen to them, then you will never really get
to know them, and you will never really know what kind of tree they are. I
mean, let’s face it, we live in a society where everyone has a “god” that they
believe in. Just because someone says they are a Christian does not exactly
mean that they are one. People in our society today go to church by the
thousands, but not many of them are true, sincere Disciples of Christ. Some of
them just go to church because that is what good people do, and the church
offers great programs for their children and family. Jesus means nothing to
them except on Sunday when He is supposed to.
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“For a
good tree does not bear bad fruit, nor does a bad tree bear good fruit. For
every tree is known by its own fruit. For men do not gather figs from thorns,
nor do they gather grapes from a bramble bush. A good man out of the treasure
of his heart brings forth good; and an evil man out of the treasure of his
heart brings forth evil. For out of the abundance of the heart his mouth
speaks.” Luke 6:43-45
Our
words tell people a lot about who we are. It is not about how we are saying our
words that reflects our hearts; it is all about what we are saying that shows
the true reflection. If we want to know if someone is a sincere disciple of
Christ, we need to listen to what is coming out of their mouths. James tells us
that our tongues are unruly and no mere man can tame them, because they are
full of evil and deadly poison. (James 3:8) He goes on to say that in one
minute we bless God and curse man who was made in the image of God, all in one fluid
sentence, without a moment’s pause. (James 3:9) Though man can’t tame the
tongue, God can.
Let me
expound on my thoughts here for a moment. Before I gave my life to Jesus Christ
I cursed terribly. Just about every other word that came from my mouth was a
curse word, and not very pleasant ones either. (Although, I don’t know any
curse words that are actually nice). It was nothing for me to litter my mouth
with all manner of cursing, not thinking for one minute about what I was saying
or who it might offend. After I gave my life to Jesus Christ and allowed His
Holy Spirit to take possession of me, the cursing went away. It was the first
thing that most everyone noticed of me that had changed. All that cursing was
gone. God can and will help us control our tongues, if we let Him.
I am
not saying that we go around and start judging people based off their words,
and that is not what Jesus is telling us to do either. What I believe He is
showing us is that we need to pay attention to what is coming out of our mouths
not just what is coming out of every one else’s. Jesus tells us that a good
tree will bear good fruit. A heart that is focused and set on Jesus will
produce good fruit from its lips. What kind of fruit will that be? The same
fruit of the Spirit that Paul lists off in Galatians 5:22. The good fruit will
be words of love, joy, peace, understanding or longsuffering, kindness,
goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self- control, all under the power of His
Holy Spirit. The words that a true disciple of Christ will be speaking will be
godly fruit because they are allowing God to control their tongues. Like the
saying goes, “Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and Your hand over my
mouth!” What we say is even more
important to the Lord than how we say it, because let’s face it, some things we
shouldn’t be saying at all!
Jesus
goes on to tell us that every tree will be known by its fruit. Let me give you
another example. I used to attend a church for many years. As far as I could
tell these people were my brothers and sisters in the Lord. We prayed together,
ate together, served together, and loved one another. Every single one of them
that called me “true friend” and that I considered “true friends” promised me
that when my husband and I left fellowship that they would stay in touch and
that they wanted to continue in fellowship with us. Do you know that now, after
almost two years of being gone there are only a few of the women who have
actually stuck to their words? And, not to mention that, but not a single one
of the men whom my husband served alongside, whom my husband helped and
encouraged and supported all those years, not a single one of them have ever
called him in the two years that we have been gone. So, what should I discern
from all of this? Maybe these people were not my “true friends” after all.
Perhaps the fruit of their lips was not as fruitful as I thought it was. Because
let’s face it, if we tell someone something and we are true follower of Jesus
Christ than what comes out of our mouths should be true, and we should be
faithful to follow it through. Even Jesus tells us this truth when He tells us
that we should let our “yes be yes and our no, no. For whatever is more than
these is from the evil one.” (Matthew 5:37) These “friends” said they loved me,
but where are their words of love now?
I am
not saying that we should look at these people and point the finger and talk
about how bad of a Christian they are, that is not my point. My point is that
what comes out of your mouth speaks about what is in your heart, it tells the
truth about who you are from the inside out. Once you open your mouth there is
no getting away from it- your mouth is open, you are speaking from the
abundance of what you have put into your heart. If you tell someone you love
them, then love them. If you tell someone yes, then be yes, if you tell them
no, than be no. If your heart is full of Jesus then speak Jesus. Let not your
mouths send forth fresh and bitter water. (James 3:11)
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Our
hearts are like little sponges, what we pour into them is what is going to come
out of them. If I pour a pot of coffee onto a sponge, is gold going to come out
of it? No, of course not! Coffee is going to come out of it, because that is
what I put into it. What we put into our hearts through hearing, seeing, and
the other of our five senses God has given us will determine what comes out of
our mouths. James tells us that “out of the same mouth proceed blessing and
cursing.” (James 3:10) He then goes on to tell us that as Christians, “these
things ought not to be so”! We bless God one minute and talk about our sister
in the Lord the next minute. But that gossip was necessary so that those who
are going to be praying for her will know what to pray for. (Yes, I have
actually had someone tell me they weren’t gossiping they were just making sure
I had the full story so I could
know how to pray.) I think God already knows,
so we can spare the details.
What we
are saying tells the world what is in our hearts. If I am full of anger, then
usually what proceeds from my heart are angry words meant to hurt and harm the
person I am mad with. If you look at the verses that Paul gives to us in
Galatians 5:19-21 about the works of the flesh, quite a few of them refer to
what comes out of our mouths. What is in your heart is what is going to come
out of your mouth. What you say to me speaks more to me than how you are saying
it. What we speak to the world tells the world what it truly in our hearts. If
Jesus is the God of your heart, then He will be the words that come from the
abundance of it. If it is self, then what will come from your heart is the abundance
of self. The choice is yours, what you decide to put into your heart is what
you are going to pull from it. Treasures are buried, and out of the treasure of
your heart, your mouth will speak. What we say speaks louder than how we are
saying it. What is your heart speaking?
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