I was raised Catholic, but after years of being dragged to mass and confession each week, being forced to attend a private Catholic school, I left as soon as I could. At the age of 13 I found myself in drug rehabilitation, addicted and needing help. My mother, a very strong and independent woman, did everything in her power to get me to believe in God. But I always saw God as this mean man looking down on me, hating me and disapproving of my life. At the age of 19 I gave birth to my wonderful son, (unmarried and alone- much to my mother’s disapproval) By the age of 20 I had gotten pregnant again, and this time I married her father. (I grew up in Iowa, so it was not unnatural for a girl to get married so young- it was actually encouraged) I still struggled with drug abuse and alcohol abuse, even after rehabilitation, which eventually led to my marriage falling apart and separation from my husband and children.
It was during this time in my life, separated from my family that Jesus reached down from heaven and set my feet upon the Rock. (Psalm 40:2) I was sitting in my home, all alone, and just coming down from a high. Sitting on my end table next to my couch was a Bible. It was very odd to have a Bible out in my home, let alone sitting right next to me. I heard a still small voice speak to me to pick it up and open it. I did. Why, I do not know. I just knew that I needed to. I opened the Bible to Genesis 3. I read about Adam and Eve, and how the serpent had beguiled her, how sin had crept into their hearts and they were now separated from God. This struck me pretty hard. At that point, I just could’t seem to get enough of this Bible. I found myself in Hosea a few weeks later. It was then that my Lord and Savior sang to me and called me His own. He spoke this to me, “And in that day,” says the Lord, "That you will call Me ‘My Husband’ and no longer call Me ‘My Master’. (Hosea 2:16) He spoke to me of His love, His desire to be a part of my every waking moment. (Hosea 2:19-20)
I fell in love with Jesus at that moment. As I was driving to work a few days later, I heard that same voice again telling me that there would be a red brick church on the left and that I was to park my truck and go in. I did. I walked into that little red brick church and sat in the back pew. There were only four other people in the church. The Pastor called out and asked, “If anyone would like to give their lives to Jesus Christ, please come forward.” I heard that same still small voice say, “Go”. I went down the isle, covered in plush red carpet and knelt before the Lord Jesus Christ. It was at that moment that I became His and He became mine. He had betrothed me to Him and I would never be the same. I then realized that without a doubt that God my Father had loved me from the foundations of the world, that I was chosen for this moment, for Him and Him alone. He called me out of darkness into His wonderful light, and my life has never been the same. I have tried for over 13 years to find that little red brick church again, but to no avail, it is not there. My husband says it’s because God put it there for that specific moment for me. But, whether that is true or not- the only thing that matters is that He found me and I found Him and one day my Prince will come again and carry me to glory with Him!
Within 10 months of giving Him my heart, my soul, my mind and my body, He restored my marriage, took away the addictions of my life and brought me to His Cross where I found True Love for the first time in my life. It was five years later that He also brought my husband to Salvation. He has chosen me and called me for His glory and I pray that each and every day I live and love as He has lived and loved me. Over the years He has given me gifts, one being writing. It is because of His work in my heart that I am able to share the love of Jesus Christ with others through my blog, my books and the studies He gives to me. My favorite quote that sums up my “purpose” in Christ is by Mother Theresa, “I am a little pencil in the hand of a writing God who is sending a love letter to the world.” I pray each and every day for Jesus to be glorified in me, and through me, and that I will always be the little willing pencil He needs to spread His love to the world. In Jesus Name, amen and amen.