When it rains, it pours! It never ceases to amaze me how one little trial can turn into a chaotic disaster in less than sixty seconds! I just can’t seem to catch a break! Every day for the past two weeks something has happened to create chaos and turmoil in my business and in my life. I get so discouraged! I just want to pack it all in and say to heck with it! I am done! But, here I am, another day behind me and another one before me. I am alive, breathing and still on this earth, apparently, God still has a purpose and a plan for me. But this chaos, and these trials, will they ever end?
“For God is not a God of confusion but of peace. As in all the churches of the saints,” 1 Corinthians 14:33 ESV
Chaos is a state of disarray. Chaos creates confusion, disorder and a lack of organization. Chaos is a tornado that rips through the peaceful little village of calm and quiet. Chaos is confusing, and confounding. These past few weeks could be described as nothing less than chaotic. I have found myself faced with issue after issue, battling every step of the way. Some days I just want to sit down and cry! I am growing weary and I don’t understand what I am doing wrong, or why any of this keeps happening. Yet, I find peace in this truth- God is not a God of confusion but of peace. Confusion is not from God. Chaos is not who God is. God is peace. He is order and calm. He stills the storm. He quiets the troubled soul. God is not a God of confusion. Our enemy is.
“Humble yourselves therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time He may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on Him, because He cares for you. Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion seeking someone to devour. Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world. And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to His eternal glory in Christ, will Himself restore, confirm, strengthen and establish you. To Him be the dominion forever and ever. Amen.” 1 Peter 5:6-11
Your adversary the devil seeks to kill, steal and destroy anything and everything about you. He is the one who has brought confusion and chaos into your life. Remember Job? Remember how the enemy came before the Lord and asked God to prove Job, to test Job to see what Job was made of. (Job 1:6-12) Our enemy wants to destroy our testimony. If he can do it he will and he will do it through chaos and confusion. The enemy is fast on our heels, but God is with us and nothing can defeat us.
“Your way was through the sea, Your path through the great waters; yet your footprints were unseen.” Psalm 77:19
The Israelites were faced with utter destruction under the hand of Pharaoh and his army. In front of them was the raging waters of the Red sea and fast on their heels was the entire Egyptian army, seeking to kill and destroy every last one of them. But God made a way for them. God parted the waters and made a way for them. They walked through the Red sea in peace. There was order, not chaos as they made their way on foot through the parted waters. There was chaos and confusion all around them, but God was in the midst of them, giving them a way through it all.
Peter reminds us to cast all our anxieties on Him because He cares for us. God’s providential care has not left you. It is still there, holding you and guiding you and making a way for you through the vast sea of chaos that is all around you.
“Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though some strange thing has happened to you. But rejoice insofar as you share Christ’s sufferings, that you may rejoice and be glad when His glory is revealed.” 1 Peter 4:12-13
We are being conformed to the image of Christ. He suffered, so will we. I think we get so caught up in the blessings that we miss the beauty that is found amid the suffering. These trials, these days of endless chaos have made me run to my Lord and Savior. They have made me seek Him out; they have caused my heart to find solace in His Word. I have come to rely on His Word to help me get through every single day. I have found strength in the simplest verses, and He has given me courage and wisdom to face whatever chaos might come my way. I have been reminded of His faithfulness. I have seen His Sovereign hand upon my life and I have grown in the knowledge and comfort of who my God is.
For many years, I have lived with a family that does not seek God. I have been unequally yoked to an unbeliever. I have cried out to the Lord on many occasions, begging Him to either save him or let me leave him. There have been some rough patches. I have begged Him to give me strength and to make me into the light they need to see. I have had times and moments of wanting to give up, of wanting to walk away and never look back. But every time God has strengthened me and given me the courage to stay.
It wasn’t until a close friend of mine reminded me of the testimony I was to her that I started to see the blessing and beauty amid my suffering. She reminded me that because of his unbelief I had grown dependent on the Lord. I had been a testimony to her in regards to perseverance, and trusting in God alone. She said she saw me making Him my one and only and it caused her to want to do the same. She reminded me that my trials, my chaos and the suffering I faced were a testimony to His unfailing grace. She watched me lean on Him, run to Him, and rely on Him and it encouraged her to do the same. She saw His faithfulness to me and it encouraged her to see His faithfulness to her.
These past few weeks, heck, this entire year so far has been a constant uphill battle. But God is not the author of this chaos, my enemy is. God may have allowed it to happen, but through everything the enemy has thrown at me, my God is making me stronger, bolder and more courageous to face whatever chaos the enemy wants to throw my way. God is building in me a greater weight of glory that will testify of His unfailing and unending grace. The army of the enemy may be fast on my heels, but my God is making a way for me. I may be troubled on every side, but I will not be dismayed. My God will make a way. Amen.