You are treasured
“…which is very precious in the sight of God.” 1 Peter 3:4
Loneliness was a battle that I found to be common in my marriage to my unbelieving husband. I would listen to the ladies at my church talk about their husbands leading a devotion time at home, their children giving their lives to Christ, their husbands standing beside them at church, all these things I desired, yet never seemed to receive. My husband is not a bad man, he never was. He loves me, of that there is no doubt. But I needed something more; I needed a deeper kind of love than he was able to give me. I needed a love that was beyond the physical world, I needed a spiritual love that encompassed my whole being.
There were many nights that I would lay upon my bed, clutching my Bible to my chest, tears streaming down my face as I prayed and asked the Lord to love me, to love me like I needed to be loved. He did not fail me. It was through His word that He began to fill the loneliness that was inside of me; it was through His word that He wooed me and showed me that He was my True Husband; He was my One True Love and I was very precious in His sight.
He started with Hosea 2:14, “Therefore, behold, I will allure her, will bring her into the wilderness, and speak comfort to her;” He began to show me through His word how precious I was to Him. He told me that I was His own special daughter, and that His love for me went as deep as the nails that pierced His hand. It was then that He began to romance me and make me His own beloved.
Your husband is the man that you married, he is the man that God has designed you to be a help meet to, but he can never fulfill the love that you so desperately seek. They can come close, but deep down there will always be a desire for something more, something greater, and something more precious. Your husband will disappoint you, he will hurt you, and he may even leave you, but your True Husband, the One who died for you will never disappoint, hurt or leave your side. It was when I realized that I did not need my husband to fulfill me that the loneliness of having an unbelieving husband began to wane. I am not saying that I did not want my husband anymore, but the need to have him fulfill all my needs was no longer an expectation I put upon him. This also freed me to love my husband in a way I had never been able to before.
The Lord God desires to have you all to Himself. He wants you to know and to see the deep, everlasting love that He has for you. There are times in our lives when we are going to seek to be filled by our husbands and we will be disappointed. Because our husbands were never meant to be the ones to fill those needs. Our spiritual needs come from God and God alone, our husbands will never be able to be Jesus, that is why it is important for us to marry ourselves to the Lord first.
The Lord God says that He will allure us. And He does, ever so faithfully. Have you ever been out of doors and felt the wind caress your cheek, or smell the fragrance of spring as it blooms all around you? These are love whispers from your God. He wants to allure you; He wants to draw you to Himself so that He can show you the love that He has for you. He wants to be your all in all.
The Lord goes on to say to us in Hosea 2:16 that “it shall be in that day, says the Lord, that you will call Me, ‘My Husband’, and no longer call Me, ‘My Master’.” The Lord does not want us to have a relationship based off of dos and don’ts because we are scared to death He is going to send us to hell. He wants a love relationship with us, a passionate love that never ends. He desires to be called Husband by us as a sign of the commitment and eternal relationship that He suffered for. You are not your own, you belong to God. Did you realize that if you were the only person in the history of the world to accept Jesus Christ into your life that He still would have gone to the cross and suffered so desperately for you?
When Peter tells us that we are “precious in the sight of God” he is reminding us of that special bond we have with Christ. We are His bride, His chosen ones, and He desires above all else to fulfill our every need. Paul tells us in Philippians 4:19 that our “God, shall supply all your needs according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus.” Let me encourage you to let go of the expectations you have for your husband to fill the desires and needs you have and let God fill them instead. There are physical needs that only our husbands can fill, but the deep needs that we have can only be satisfied in Jesus Christ.
Hebrews 13:5 says, “Let your conduct be without covetousness, be content with such things as you have. For He Himself has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” He is telling us that to fill up that loneliness that we have inside us, we need to let go of the wishing and dreaming and put all our hope in Him. No greater love have we ever been given than the love that Christ Jesus shed for us upon that cross. The love that He has for us is intimate, it is perfect, and it is exactly what we seek. We need to fall in love with our Lord and Savior. We need to allow Him to sing over us, to romance us with the caresses of His wind, the fragrance of His creation, and the beauty of the love whispers He sends to us each and every day.
Another scripture that the Lord God gave me while I was struggling with loneliness was Isaiah 54:5. “For your Maker is your husband, The Lord of Hosts is His name; and your Redeemer is the Holy One of Israel; He is called the God of the whole earth.” The God who created you, who created all that you see, smell, taste, touch, and hear has declared His love for you a thousand times over. He is the One True Love that you have searched for your whole life; He is your eternal soul mate.
The Lord God treasures you; you are precious in His sight. “Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” (John 15:13) There is no greater love than the love that Jesus has for you. As you find yourself immersed in loneliness, seek God, and His great love for you. Your husband loves you, but he can never truly satisfy your deepest longings. Only Jesus Christ can be all that you need and all that you desire. He will never turn away from you, He will never hurt you, and He will never leave you nor forsake you.
“I know the thoughts I thinks toward you,” says the Lord, “thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.” (Jeremiah 29:11) He goes on to promise that if we seek Him we will find Him when we search for Him with all our hearts. Your husband can never fully satisfy all your desires. You need to relinquish these wants and needs to the Lord God, your True Husband and allow Him to fill you and give you the desires of your heart. He treasures you, He cherishes you, and you are precious in His sight.
Pray and ask the Lord God to reveal His great love for you. Pray and seek Him in every area of your life. Give your desires and dreams to the Lord God and let Him be the fulfilling of all your hopes. May the Lord God betroth you to Himself today, (Hosea 2:19-20) in righteousness, justice, lovingkindness and mercy, in faithfulness until He comes again. To God be the glory, amen and amen.
*Winning Him Without A Word: Learning to Live and Love and Unbelieving Husband, by Stephane Singletary.