Have you ever been reading your Bible and came across a scripture that was perfect for someone else? You read the words, and think to yourself, “Oh, they need to read this!” I have done that many times, especially towards my husband. I have read the scriptures and thought that if my husband would just read these words than he would see what was wrong and allow God to fix it. But, that is not the way the Lord God works. In fact, the last person He is concerned with is your husband when you are reading your bible. He is focused on you, right there, right then.
I have been learning quite a bit from the Lord about true submission to my husband, what it looks like, what it means, and how He wants me to trust Him every step of the way. But many times, I hear scripture, I read scripture and I want my husband to hear it because then it will fix him. But the Lord showed me something that I think is important for all of us women to put into practice, not just for our husbands, but for all our brothers and sisters in the Lord whom we “see” in the Bible.
When we read the scriptures, the Lord wants to speak to us, about us. Hebrews 4: 12 tells us that the Word of God is living, it s powerful, it is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart. We pray for our husbands, for our brothers and sisters in the Lord, and then we read the scriptures and forget that they apply to us first, then to them second. The Lord showed me how when I read the scriptures and I “see” my husband in the midst of them, instead of pointing out his need to see and to read, and apply to his life; I need to first see, read, and apply to myself. I need to ask the Lord to change me so that I can come alongside and help my husband be the man God wants him to be.
When we “see” someone else in the scriptures, we need to first ask for the Lord God to open our hearts and to change us. I used to pray for the Lord to change my husband’s heart. But He always changed mine first. The harder I prayed for Him to open his eyes, the more in depth He went into my heart. No matter what I prayed, He always focused on me first. We forget that the Lord God wants us to “work out our own salvation in fear and trembling” (Phil. 2:12) first, then we will be able to see clearly how to assist others in theirs.
When the Lord reveals to our hearts something that we believe we need to speak to our husbands or our brothers and sisters, instead of pointing the finger at them, we need to first point the finger at ourselves. The Lord will then show us how we are to come alongside our husbands and help them meet the role of being the godly man of our lives. But we first must allow the Lord God to work in us and allow the Lord God to change us.
I was talking and praying the other day about this with the Lord. He showed me that instead of pointing the finger and going and telling my husband what I see in the scriptures, what I need to do is pray and ask the Lord to make me the woman He needs me to be to allow Him to work this out in my husband’s life and walk. When we read scriptures, or when we hear a sermon, we sometimes think, “Oh, if so and so were here…” but that scripture, that sermon was meant for you first. You are hearing it because it applies to an area in your life, and the Lord God wants to work that out in you, first.
The Word of God is intended for us first, always- no exceptions. God speaks to us through His Word to change us and mold us, to make us into the image of His Son, Jesus Christ. We do not study and read the Word of God to change others, only God can change the hearts of His people, only God can save your husband. We as women, we tend to take on the role of the Holy Spirit when it comes to our husbands and our families. We try to convince and convict our husbands, and justify our actions by using the Word of God against them. Yes, I would like my husband to be a Paul, or a Peter, or a John. But is that who God wants my husband to be? Is that who God desires Him to be? And what right do we have as wives and sisters in the Lord to determine what someone else needs in their personal walk with the Lord Jesus? Only God knows the needs and the desires of the hearts of His children because He sees the end from the beginning.
When we read the scriptures, or hear a sermon and someone else comes to mind. What we need to ask first is “how does this apply to me, Lord?” after He has shown you (and He will show you) then we need to ask, “Lord, help me to be this person You are showing me to be.” When we do this, then the change will be able to begin. So many of us women are in the way, and we need to move so that God can do the work in the hearts of our husbands.
It is difficult to have a husband that is younger in the faith than you, but where he is at spiritually is not for you to decide or determine. We can no more mold our husbands into who we think they should be, than we can change and mold ourselves, we don’t have that power. The role of the Holy Spirit is to lead, guide, teach, convince and convict- each individual. It is not ours to do; it is not a role that we should even attempt to take on. But too many times we do. This is not being in submission to your husband, it is as far from it as we can get. When we try to change them, we are asserting ourselves over our husbands and seeking to lead them. We need to get out of God’s way when it comes to our husbands, and we need to “work out our own salvation” first.
When you read the scriptures and you “see” someone else, seek the Lord to change you. Then He will show you how to be the woman, sister, wife He desires you to be. When we do this, when we get out of God’s way, the Lord will begin to work in the time and the manner He desires. He knows what each one of us needs spiritually- He judges our walks, He determines the path before our feet, He knows what your husband needs to hear, and if we would take the role we are to take and get out of His way, we may actually begin to see the change we desire as well.
We are not the Holy Spirit, we never will be, but yet we seek to guide, lead, direct, convince and convict our husbands and our brothers and sisters in the Lord. Who are we to determine another man’s walk? Who are we to say that they are not walking the way the Lord would have them? That is not for us to neither determine nor judge, that is left for God alone. We just need to get out of the way. Believe me when I tell you (from my own personal experience) the sooner you move, the quicker God can work. Let us move aside and allow the Lord to do the work through His Word, and let us just get out of the way. Let us read and apply the scriptures to ourselves first, before we seek to apply them to anyone else. May the Lord God give us ears to hear and hearts to receive His word to us, each and every day. Lord Jesus, change us and mold us, just as You are able to change and mold our husbands, brothers and sisters in the Lord. In Jesus Name, Amen.