Do you allow your husband to be king over his castle? There was a time in my marriage where I was a believer and my husband was not. The Lord had brought me out of the pit of darkness that I was in, yet my husband wasn't quite convinced yet. For years I prayed for him to come to the saving knowledge of Jesus Christ, and finally, one day, he did. But the lesson of submission didn’t come so easily. 1 Peter 3 was a chapter I read every day, I prayed it, hoped for it and trusted that the Lord would work a miracle in my husband. Then, finally, with much joy He did, and my husband began to take on the role of “king” of our castle. But I was an unruly and rebellious queen.
My husband will tell you, if asked, that I am a submissive wife, I do what he asks; I don’t fight or argue with him much. (I have my moments) But the Lord has shown me, quite recently, that I am no more near submitting to my husband now as I was when he became a Christian. To teach me this lesson, our Father in heaven has had to take my husband and me down a very painful path of faith. The example of Sarah was brought to my attention and I have learned that no matter what, I need to trust the Lord God to lead my husband, and I need to fall in behind him. True submission begins in our hearts. It is more than just doing what we are asked by our husbands. True submission trusts the Lord to lead your husband as he leads you. True submission begins in our hearts, not in our obedience.
“For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves, being submissive to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, whose daughters you are if you do good and are not afraid with any terror.” 1 Peter 3:5-6
Verse 5 of 1 Peter 3 says that we are to be like the “holy women who trusted in God…being submissive to their own husbands”. The word submissive is a Greek military term meaning “to arrange (troop divisions) in a military fashion under the command of a leader. The non-military use means it was a “voluntary attitude of giving in, cooperating, assuming responsibility and carrying a burden.” Our husbands are the Commander/ Chief/ Captain/ Kings of our homes, and our families. Your husband was not made for you, you were made for him. The Lord God did not form Eve first and then create Adam. He created Adam, took from Adam and created Eve. Then, the Lord God brought Eve to Adam, (Genesis 2:22) He did not bring Adam to Eve. This is a picture for us of the order our homes should follow.
We say we are submitted to our husbands, we do what they say, we do what they ask, but in our hearts we doubt their leading, we doubt their abilities. This is not true submission. No matter where your husband is in his walk your role, as his wife, is to trust the Lord God enough to lead him, as he leads you. A commander is only as strong as the troops that are behind him. He cannot go into battle alone; he needs his troops to be united, behind him and ready to fight with him. Your husband needs you behind him and beside him. He cannot fight this fight of faith without you. When you fall in behind, your children will follow also. Your husband will be able to withstand, to conquer and be the man that God desires him to be. He is strongest only when you allow him to lead.
Not only does Sarah trust the Lord God to lead her husband, but she shows Abraham her faith in God and her faith in him by “calling him lord”. Now, she is not saying that Abraham is her god, but she is giving him the respect due to him, as her leader, as the king of the castle. The words “calling him lord” means that she knows and believes that she belongs to him, he is her husband and the same respect she gives to God, she must also give to her husband. She is not her own, (1 Cor. 7:3-4) she understands that, she believes that no matter what happens, no matter what mistakes Abraham may make, God will protect them, God will bless them and the Lord God will be the One who gets all the glory. Sarah had faith in God to work and to lead Abraham. She submitted, she humbled herself before her husband and let him lead as he was led by God.
You are a woman, a woman who seeks the Lord, who loves the Lord, yet you doubt His ability to lead and guide your husband. True submission begins in our hearts, ladies. Do we trust God enough to lead our husbands, and for our husbands to lead us? Every time we doubt our husbands walk with the Lord, his decisions, his actions, we are also doubting God’s power and ability to work in their lives. Our lack of true submission will hinder our prayers. We need to seek to submit, and to accept and trust that no matter what, the Lord God will guide your husband, and He will lead him according to His good pleasure. We need to trust the Lord God that He will lead our husbands and our husbands lead us.
I am sure there are some that will say it sounds like my husband is to be ruler, dictator and king over all. That you will have no say in anything at all, but that is not so. There is a freedom and a sweetness that is borne out of true submission to your husbands. He will see and feel the love and respect you have for him through your submission and this will cause him to want to lead you as the Lord leads him. You are showing him that you trust the Lord God to lead him as the head of the house, as the leader he is to become. Sarah did not always trust Abraham’s decisions, but she trusted the Lord to lead him, and she willingly submitted (in her heart) to whatever and wherever the Lord led her husband. We are her daughters, your husbands are Abraham’s children, we are to trust that the Lord God will do unto him as He sees fit, and we are to submit and come alongside and behind him, no matter what.
Do not be afraid, but trust that the Lord God will lead your husband, and that your husband will lead you. Your husband is the king of his castle, you are his queen. You rule by his side, not before him or over him. A queen did not overstep her king, but submitted to his authority just as the subjects under him. Make your husband your king today, be his queen and enter into the beauty of true submission, the Lord will work miracles in your lives, believe me, my husband and I are seeing the blessings already because I was finally willing to submit fully to his authority over me.
May the Lord Jesus Christ reveal to your hearts the beauty of true submission. May we, as women of God come behind and alongside our husbands, and make them, once and for all, Kings over our Castles. May we become the Kings and Queens He destined us to be. In Jesus Name, Amen and Amen.