Monday, October 29, 2012

A Much Needed Reminder

                This morning, as I prayed and laid down before my Lord God the issues that were troubling my heart, I was reminded of Psalm 139 and His omniscience over my life. I have been struggling with a heart issue lately, I have been down on myself and others, and seeking to understand the motives of the heart. This will get me into trouble every time. Only God knows the motives of our hearts, and the reasons people do what they do- it is not for me to know. David describes for us in this Psalm the perfect knowledge God has of each and every man on the face of the earth. There is not one person who is has lived, is living or will live that God does not know intimately. This brings me comfort, but it also brings me to a place of chastening because of my way-ward heart lately.
                “O Lord, You have searched me and known me. You know my sitting down and my rising up; You understand my thought afar off. You comprehend my path and my lying down, and are acquainted with all my ways. For there is not a word on my tongue, but behold, O Lord, You know it altogether. You have hedged me behind and before, and laid Your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high, I cannot attain it.” (Psalm 139: 1-5)
                As I read these words again, for the hundredth time, it sunk into my heart the knowledge that God has of me. Not only does He know me, know what I am going to do before I do it, but He still loves me, in spite of it all. He is never surprised by my actions or reactions. He knows my thoughts even before I do. He knows what I am going to say even before I do, He knows because He formed me, He created me before He even created the world we live in today. I agree with David, “such knowledge is too wonderful for me..” I cannot understand it fully. But I can have faith and hope and find the comfort I am seeking within these wonderful words God is speaking to me today.
                It was like He was saying, “Child, it is okay. I know you, I know your heart and I see you from beginning to end. Is it really so bad? I have created you to be Mine forever and ever. I love you with a perfect love; I know you and I love you. It is okay, and it will be okay.” I needed to hear these words today, for my heart has grown weary. But He did not stop there, He kept on going, He kept on speaking to me through His word, His wonderful word to me.
                “Where can I go from Your spirit? Or where can I flee from Your presence? If I ascend into heaven, You are there. If I make my bed in hell, behold, You are there. If I take the wings of the morning, and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, even there Your hand shall lead me. And Your right hand shall hold me. If I say, “Surely the darkness shall fall on me, even the night shall be light about me; Indeed, the darkness shall not hide from You, but the night shines as day; the darkness and the light are both alike to You.” (vs. 7-12)
                I try to run when I mess up. I try to avoid the Lord my God and try to make excuses for the sin that is in my heart- but He knows where I am at all times. Even when I try to hide myself away, He sees me. There is nothing hidden in the sight of God, all things are open and naked to Him. He saw me before He said, “Let there be light”, and He saw my sin, and my deceitful heart and He still chose to mold me, to make me, to create me. Does that not give us comfort and does that not bring us to a place of awe and worship and wonder? He saw my sins, all of them, even the ones I try to hide from Him, and He still says, “I see all of you and I love you.”  Even in the hidden corners of my very being, He is there.
                “For You formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother’s womb. I will praise You for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Marvelous are Your works, and that my soul knows very well. My frame was not hidden from You; when I was made in secret, and skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth. Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed, and in Your book they all were written, The days fashioned for me, when as yet there were none of them.” (vs. 13-16)
                As I read these words, I got a picture of an artist, standing before a blank canvas. He stares at the canvas before Him and decides right then and there what He is going to create. He may change a few things here and there, add a few drops of color to this and that, but from the beginning He knows what masterpiece He shall create before He starts to create it. I am the canvas, He is the artist. He is painting my life and He is creating a masterpiece for His glory. He put His hand upon me in the womb of my mother and began to paint the portrait of my life.
                “How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God! How great is the sum of them! If I should count them, they would be more in number than the sand; when I awake, I am still with You.”(vs. 17-18)
                He is constantly thinking of me, of you. We may not be constantly thinking of Him, but He is always thinking about us. He has never left the canvas, He is before it always, working and painting, adding and taking away until we become the perfect masterpiece He has planned for us all along. Is that not just downright amazing! To think that the God of all heaven and earth, the God of the universe is thinking of you right now, and working in your heart, brings me to my knees in awe and wonder.
                We have a God who does not only look upon us when we are in trouble or when we do what is right and good. We have a God who sees us as we are and says, “I love you, You are worth it. I know the plans and the thoughts I have for you. So you messed up, so you have fallen into sin, I still have you in My hands, I have not left you. I have even taken your sins and cast them as far as the east is from the west. I have done all that needs to be done to bring you the place I have prepared for you. When you wake up, I will still be with you.” He is always before us and He is always working on our behalf. “I am encompassed by the presence of God- as I walk this path of life; He has preceded me to every experience.” (Pastor Chuck Smith Teaching on Psalm 139) There is no where I can run, flee or hide from Him. And knowing the care and the patience and the love that He has for me, why would we want to run?
                There are so many wonderful things that we can learn from Psalm 139, and for me today it was a reminder, a refresher course in the perfect knowledge that God has for me and towards me. He sees me- front and back, past, present and future and He has me in His hands, always. He never puts His brush down; He keeps painting and creating me into the masterpiece He desires. What a great, powerful, loving and awesome God we have. He has already been to the future, He has already seen and prepared everything that I will ever experience, react to, think and say- in Him I can put all my trust and hope and love. I am His and He is mine, to His glory forever and ever, Amen.
                May I encourage you to go and spend some time reading and mediating on the awesomeness of our God found in Psalm 139? David ends the Psalm with a plea, a plea that should be our daily cry to the One who holds our life in the palm of His hands. “Search me, O God, and know my heart; try me and know my anxieties, and see if there is any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” (vs. 23-24) David did not speak this for God’s benefit but for our own. God already knows us inside and out, it should be our desire to know God as we are known. Be blessed and may His presence bring you to a place of worship and wonder, awe and amazement today for the marvelous, loving God we have. Amen and Amen.