What is it that you desire? What is that one thing that you cannot and will not live without? Is it your family, your children, your friends? That is the question that the Lord has been asking me lately. And my answer, which was not an easy one to come to, but my final answer was, “You, Lord, You alone Jesus is all I cannot live without.” How true those words became to me. So much so, that a part of me has changed, a part of my heart has been torn out and replaced with an unquenchable desire for Him and only Him.
I was totally on the mountaintop the day I made that statement of love to my Jesus. I was on a spiritual high, so high up in fact that I never wanted to come down. But I did, I came down to a place where I found myself struggling to keep the joy that was blooming in my heart. But I was determined, no matter what, that I was never going to let anyone or anything come between me and my Jesus ever again. I had come to a point in my walk with Jesus where I had to make a choice. I had to choose to be either “all in” or “all out”. He wanted and desired all of me. Not just half my heart or three-quarters of my heart, but all of my heart.
I have been walking with the Lord for almost 11 years now, and each day He asked for a little bit more of me, a little bit here and a little bit there, because He knew I was not ready to go “all in.” But there comes a point in our walks when we have to make that choice. My message to you today is to dive in- head first. My message to you today is, “But from there you will seek the Lord you God, and you will find Him if you seek Him with all your heart and with all your soul. When you are in distress, and all these things come upon you in the latter days, when you turn to the Lord your God and obey His voice, (for the Lord you God is a merciful God), He will not forsake you nor destroy you..” Deuteronomy 4:30-31.
The Lord promises us that if we dive into Him, if we seek Him with our whole heart we will find Him. The word seek has two different meanings, each in its own context. Verse 30 says that we “will seek the Lord your God” in this context, seek means to be heard by God. The second usage of seek in this verse, “if you seek Him with all your heart, and with all your soul” means to learn and to study. But all of this requires something from us. The Lord promises that He will never leave us or forsake us, that He only desires peace for us, good for us, the question is- do we believe that?
Abraham, he was a man that was “all in”. Even if it meant that he was to sacrifice his only son, the son of promise, the son the Lord had given him. He was willing to give up the one person he loved above all else, just so that he could have Jesus. Are we willing to do the same?
I once had a pastor who would tell us that “all means all and that’s all, all means”. There is no halfway with our God. He wants and desires every last inch of us. Even if that means we have to leave our fathers, mothers, brothers, sisters, children, friends- He wants us to be totally and completely His. There is no grey- it is either with God or not. We can straddle the fence, I know- I have done it for years, but sooner or later, we have to make a choice.
Sooner or later we have to come to the end of ourselves, to the end of what we think is right, and bow our will and our hearts to the ONLY God who will ever love us, deliver us, save us or have mercy upon us- He is and always will be your Only True Love. If the Lord said to you today, “I desire for you to take your children and give them to me- you will never see them again, but you will know that I am with them and that I have great plans for them and for you if you will obey me in this.” What would you do? What would you say? Would we be willing to say, “Yes Lord, not my will but your will be done.”
We have Jesus as an example on how we are to walk upon this earth- He was willing to die for His Father in heaven, He was willing to be beaten, bruised, sliced open and crucified, because His Father in heaven said there was no other way. When we look at the martyrs of the early church, the ones who sacrificed everything so that we could also believe, it makes me take a hard look at my own life and walk. Am I willing to give it all up for the sake of Jesus Christ and His will for me?
Joel 2:12-13 says, “Now, therefore,” says the Lord, “Turn to Me with all your heart, with fasting, with weeping, and with mourning. So rend your heart and not your garments; Return to the Lord your God, for He is gracious and merciful, slow to anger and of great kindness, and He relents from doing harm.” When we turn to the Lord with all our hearts, we are accepting the fact that we are a sinner in need of His salvation; we are lost and need Him. The word ‘turn” actually means “to be converted”. But it is a conversion of the heart, not of the outward. We have to come to a point where we say, “Yes Lord- no matter what, no matter where, no matter who- I am Yours, and Yours alone.”
There is an implied action of violence when the Lord tells us to “rend your heart”. It means to tear in two, to rip open. There is not a day that goes by lately that I do not desire Him above everything and everyone else. I love my husband, and I want him in my life, but I only NEED Jesus. There is no one on this earth that can fill me and satisfy me like my Jesus. For me, I am “all in”.
There is a song that we sing at church, “Just give me Jesus”. That is my hearts cry today, and I pray it will be yours too. “Just give me Jesus.” When we make that our hearts cry, no matter what comes our way, the Lord promises that He will never leave us or forsake us, when we seek Him with our whole heart.
If you take nothing away from my little blog post today, at least take this- “all means all and that’s all, all means,” there is no in-between. May we lift up our voice today with rent hearts and cry, “I am Thine, and all that I have is Thine. Do unto Me as You desire.” Amen.