Thursday, January 26, 2012

Burning Desire

My heart is full of worship and praise today. I heard a song on the radio that I knew I had to share with someone very dear to me. As I was looking for the song on YouTube, I came across another song that brought me to my knees this morning in awe and praise, in brokenness and humbleness. As I was praying, praising, crying like a baby for my Father in Heaven to hold me tight, I realized how desperately I need Jesus. Not just as the Jesus that I go to church every Sunday and worship, and read about, not just the Jesus that I serve, but Jesus; the manifestation of Him, of His tangible, overwhelming love. I need Him so desperately that I cannot even put into words the desire that was born in me today.
 Psalm 42 says, “As the deer pants for the water brooks, so pants my soul for You, O God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God, when shall I come and appear before God?” My heart cried that out this morning. When, oh when Lord shall I be in Your presence, face down in front of You? My desire became heavenly focused this morning, more so than it ever has been. I was then filled with joy and passion, and more tears for Him, for my Jesus.
A few nights ago, our fellowship celebrated the joy of one of our sisters going home to be with Him forever. I envy her. I so desire to be there, in the place that He has prepared for me, so that I can throw myself at His feet and say, “Holy, Holy, Holy to the Lord God Almighty. Worthy is the Lamb Who was slain.” My heart left my flesh this morning and met my Lord and Savior in a way I did not think was possible. Paul said it best when he wrote, “But what things were gain to me, these I have counted as loss for Christ. Yes indeed I also count all things loss for the excellence of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them as rubbish that I may gain Christ.”Philippians 3:7-8. Nothing is greater than Christ; everything is worthless if I cannot have Him.
I am a passionate person, of that there is no doubt. When I feel something, I feel it deeply. But this morning, as I laid face down on my bedroom floor, a thirst and a hunger welled up inside of me. I understand how the Psalmist felt, now. “ pants my soul for You, O God.” And what Paul meant by counting all things loss to gain Christ. I never want to be without Him, I never want to be apart from Him. I never want to be satisfied in my relationship with Him. I want Him, all of Him, everything that He is, I want, in fact, I thirst for it.
A deer will go to extremes to find water, it will do whatever it takes, cross whatever hurdles that stand in its way to get to water. That is the same way we should be when we are “seeking” Him. There is no one, nothing that should get in our way. Our thirst for Him should be so great in us that nothing will stand in our way. I have let so many things get in the way of my relationship with Him. He let nothing or no one get in His way as He carried my sins to the Cross. I have to let go of that which I hold most dear and cling to the One and Only One Who is most precious of all, Jesus Christ.
Abandonment, surrender, submission, whatever you want to call it, it doesn’t matter, as long as we do it. As I sat there on the floor of my bedroom, with my hands lifted high I realized how little I give but how much I take. He wants all of me, and my desire, my daily prayer should be, “Yes Lord, you can have all of me, today. Where You go, I will go. Where you say serve, I will serve, if you say go here, I will go there. I just want You, Jesus. I just want You.” In the end of this we will have the one true desire that is burning in our hearts, and that is to be filled and satisfied with Jesus Christ, every moment of every day, forever and ever.
I do not want this desire, this fire that is burning within me to ever die down, even though the storms of this life, the trials and the troubles that will come, one thing I pray today is that this fire that He has started in my heart will burn hot forevermore. My prayer is for anyone who reads this post today  to go before Him, in awe and wonder of what He has done for you- with earnest expectation of a rekindled fire of passion and never ending desire for Jesus Christ, your Lord, you King, your Savior, your God.
In the words of the song that the Lord used to bring me to my knees this morning:
“I am the thorn in Your crown
But You love me anyway
I am the sweat from Your brow
But You love me anyway
I am the nail in Your wrist
But You love me anyway
I am Judas' kiss
But You love me anyway”
"Sidewalk Prophets- You Loved Me Anyway". If you have time, please go and listen to this song on YouTube, you will fall on your knees in awe and wonder.

Amen, and Amen- All Praise and honor to Jesus Christ, forever and ever AMEN!